Redemption Road
by SkittlezLvr79
Summary: Post S8. Sequel to A New Day. Is redemption even possible when you think that you've lost everything?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **Don't own them or else the final season wouldn't have been such a pointless, ridiculous mess that made most people's skin crawl because of the wrongness of H/S and J/F.

**Warning: **Language

* * *

**March 21****st****, 1981 11:00 am** _Forman's basement_

The continuous chatter of the people around Hyde was starting to drive him nuts. He didn't need for them to talk about what was happening today over and over like broken records. Everyone in the room knew all too well what today was and what it meant. But for some reason that escaped him, they either wouldn't or couldn't shut up. Maybe they didn't want to or maybe they needed to lay out every possible situation and outcome just to keep themselves occupied. Whatever the hell their reason, the constant stream of conversation was grating on his last nerve, which was raw and threatening to snap at any moment.

A few of the voices were anxious and worried. The others were hopeful but tinged with the slightest note of apprehension. If the topic hadn't been so serious, he would have laughed at the inane, redundant nature of the discussion as one of them again launched into the already played out what if segment once again. And like the hundred previous times the topic was broached, none of them could offer viable answers. Since his input wasn't wanted and wouldn't be appreciated, he choose to remain tight lipped on the subject, his face a mask of blankness and his eyes hidden behind his trademark aviator glasses.

He huffed, the tapping of his foot increasing as he tried to drown out the talking, wondering what the big deal was. Out of the six people in the room, five of them had paid weekly visits to the Kenosha Medical Rehabilitation Center. So they knew exactly what they were going to be facing when the Forman's came home. They had the awkwardness and trepidation out of the way and could concentrate on other things. But he would be walking into this whole thing blind, going only on things Forman had told him after the last visit.

Jackie was still firmly entrenched in the land of amnesia but apparently hadn't suffered any brain damage from the coma. She knew their names and faces because of them going to see her and stopped looking at them like they were strangers. They filled her in on their roles in her life and some basic information about herself but hadn't touched the subject of the past yet because of the orders of the medical staff. The doctors hoped that being home and surrounded by familiar things would trigger her memory on it's own accord. It was also instructed that the people in her life had to wait for her to ask about her life before volunteering any answers because she could develop false memories and that would be a major set-back in her recovery.

She'd have to see a psychiatrist every week and a neurologist once a month for tests. The doctor's explained that amnesia was not a well-documented condition and that the few documented cases varied by the individual, which basically meant that they had no clue if she'd ever remember. They warned that she could suffer periods of depression and mood swings. That she might not act like herself and do things that she never would have before losing her memory. And due to the fact that her careless use of Valium, Percocet, Xanax and Quaaludes led to her coma, they wouldn't prescribe her any medication to help with any possible side effects.

He stood and walked out of the basement to the driveway. Leaning against the El Camino, he lit up a cigarette and took a deep drag. His eyes studied the cigarette and he frowned, trying to remember why he started smoking again after quitting for almost three years. Stress? Aggravation? Boredom? A coping mechanism? An excuse to get away from everyone for a few minutes? Whatever reason he created, it was just an excuse for falling back on bad habits when things weren't going his way.

Inhaling again, he pushed his thoughts out of his mind. The smoke filled his lungs and the nicotine entered his blood stream. He blew the smoke out slowly, pretending to savor the usually satisfying burn. But unlike most days, it did nothing to calm him down or ease his mind. It seemed to have the opposite effect, wiring him even more and making his thoughts blur together in a nervous jumble.

Those racing thoughts all centered around seeing his ex for the first time since that horrible day in the hospital. This encounter would be just as painful. The idea of her not knowing who he was and who they had been to each other shook him to his core. To look into her mismatched eyes and not see any recognition there shredded his gut. She was essentially a stranger with Jackie's face and body and he was forced to live in the same house as her.

Talk about being sentenced to live in hell.

He flicked the burnt cigarette away and took a deep breath. If he wanted to survive this in tact then he had to stop thinking about it and stick to the plan he set in motion the day he left her hospital room, avoid her at all costs. It had been working well for him for the past two months and while it would be harder to accomplish in the cozy confines of the Forman's, it was doable. All he had to do was get up and out before her and come home when she was sure to be in bed. He wouldn't hang in the basement when she was down there and he wouldn't eat meals with the family.

Kelso and Donna would prefer it that way. Things with them were still rocky, tense and had only grown more so over his refusal to visit her in the rehab facility. Fez would probably be too wrapped up with his goddess's return to notice that he was purposely going MIA. Forman would be disappointed in him for taking the easy way out but would understand after they talked or argued about it. Red and Kitty would notice his absence and probably yell at him about avoiding his problems again.

The most predictable reaction of all would be Randy's. After Jackie went into the facility, he had quit Grooves. They hadn't spoken since his former employee requested to only work shifts with Leo. But from what Hyde heard, or rather what Donna made sure to point out when he was around, Randy spent a lot of time at the facility with Jackie. If what the vindictive blonde said was true, he made her laugh and let her know that he intended to be there for her, that he cared about her. Another thing Donna always threw out was the fact that Randy wanted to make sure that nothing upset Jackie, especially people who didn't have her best interests at heart.

That smug, condescending, know it all assumptions pissed him off even though he was used to it. None of them had a right to pretend like they knew what he was thinking or what his actions meant. Especially some feathered haired, pretty boy Andy Gibb look-a-like who had only been around the group for about year and interested in Jackie for an even shorter period of time. Not that their opinions matter to him. One look at their faces and he could see through their crappy facades.

It was all so transparent and pathetic. Kelso and Donna were fucking clueless, self-righteous morons who were only interested in looking like the good guys in Jackie's eyes if she ever regained her memory. They wanted to have someone to point the finger at, someone else to blame for their shortcomings as friends. Randy was just trying to make himself indispensable to her because she was his way to remain in good with the group. Three dates didn't give him enough time to get to know the real Jackie in order to care for her like he claimed to.

Hyde shook his head derisively and lit up another cigarette. They didn't matter. Whether or not he stayed away from his amnesia stricken ex was his choice. If they didn't know by now that he was his own person, hated authority and didn't do things because other people wanted him to then that was their problem, not his. The choices he made were by only thinking about what was best for him and the other person involved.

With their recent history of pain and misery, he figured that the best thing he could do was stay far away from Jackie. If she had her memory and recuperating from surgery, a broken leg or something like that, she'd fully agree with him. Hell she'd probably be the one who would suggest it. Or more accurately, she'd demand that he stay the hell away from her then kick him in the shins as an exclamation point.

"Hey, when did you start smoking again?" Forman's bewildered voice pulled him from his thoughts.

"Oh," He shrugged, Zen to the bone. "A while ago."

"Why?"

He rolled his eyes and mentally cursed Forman's inability to take a hint. "I just felt like it I guess."

"Yeah, I guess I can see that." Eric twitched, eyes sliding to the basement door. "My parent's called. They're just waiting for the last of the devil's release papers and should be here in an hour."

"That's cool." He took a long, heart-steadying drag on his cigarette.

"They, uh, wanted me to ask if you could do them a favor."

Something told him that he didn't want to hear this. That nothing good would come from Forman's mouth. He tried to think of an excuse, something that would get him out of there before the favor could be asked. But his mind was a complete blank and he took another pull of his smoke, staring down the driveway. Maybe he could make a run for it before Forman could open his mouth.

"She needs her clothes but they can't trust Kelso or Fez to do it because they'll steal her panties for whatever the hell reason." A shudder ran through him and he shook his head, his face betraying his disgust. "And Donna and I have to be here when they get back…"

"Randy's her boyfriend, right? Ask him." He stated flatly, taking a step away from the El Camino and flicking away his smoke.

Eric sighed, "Fez doesn't want Randy in Jackie's room. Something about him having a secret stash of candy in her closet that he knows will be gone if I let the outsider into his private sanctuary. Or at least I think that was what he said because he was talking so damn fast." He rolled his eyes. "It's all a moot point anyway cause Randy's at work and won't be able to do it until later."

"Well, I don't want to do it."

"Come on man, she can't walk around with no clothes. I'm pretty sure that I'd end up having nightmares." He whined; face screwed up in fear. "It would be like seeing Darth Vader without the helmet! Terrifying and haunting at the same time."

He rolled his eyes at that. If Forman saw Jackie naked, the last thing on his mind would be anything Star Wars related. Because he knew from experience that the sight of that perfect, tight, toned olive flesh had the ability to rob you of the ability to think about anything but touching it and committing the curves, texture and planes to memory. After that, you lost control and had to taste it. But once was never enough. No matter how hard you tried to deny it, you always wanted more.

A hand waved in front of his face and he blinked, turning slightly to look at his best friend who had a perplexed look on his face. "Quit leering at me like that or else your going to get a close-up of my fist."

Eric laughed nervously, "You fall asleep or something?"

"Nope, just ignoring your whining as usual." He ground out and stepped away from the scrawny guy. "Seriously man, you get more girly and wussy everyday. I'm going to have to start calling you Erica again."

"Well excuse me for not wanting to see the devil in all her nakedness! I know that I'm the only guy in our group who can make that claim but it's true. Plus, Donna would stop letting me touch her naughty places-"

"Would you just shut up already?" He growled, sick of hearing Forman drone on and on about Jackie being without her clothes. "Your voice is all high and annoying, like Minnie Mouse on helium."

Eric huffed, "You know, I can go on and on about this."

"And I can run you over with my car." Hyde countered, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow in challenge. "Want to see what gives first, your mouth or my bumper?"

"Uh, no, I don't want to play that game."

"Good to know."

"Um, but she does need her stuff…" He held up his hands in mock surrender as a death glare was locked on him. "I just thought you might need to get away for a while and figured this was a good excuse."

He stared at Forman like he had grown a second head. "Sorting through Jackie's crap doesn't sound like getting away to me. Sounds like a punishment. A Donny Osmand and Abba poster, pink unicorn and flower decorated hell."

"It doesn't look like that anymore." There was something in Eric's tone, something that almost sounded like sadness. "Hasn't in a long time."

"Doesn't matter."

"Ok, then I guess that Kelso and Fez get their wish and Jackie goes without clothes. I just hope that I can get the camera out of their hands."

It was a cheap ploy but one that was highly effective. At the mention of the moron twins seeing her naked and taking pictures, a surge of jealousy coursed through his body. His jaw clenched so tightly that the muscle twitched. Forman gave him an infuriating, what can I do about it shrug and lifted his hands. He sighed, a scowl on his face but started walking toward the driver's side door.

"Hyde, man, where you going?" Eric grinned, following the path he took. "Oh, you're going to get Jackie's things. Guess the idea of someone who'd enjoy seeing Satan naked was too much for you to take."

"Shut your pie hole!" He called as he climbed into the El Camino, slammed the door and started the engine.


	2. Chapter 2

**March 21****st****, 1981 1:30 pm**

_Jackie's room_

There weren't many things in life that shocked Hyde. He was a cynic, jaded, a pessimist and the master at detecting bullshit. But being in Jackie's room and seeing how different it was from what he expected completely threw him. There were no pink walls, no posters, no pictures of her friends or family, no vases of flowers and no stuffed animals littering the bed. Also absent were all those stupid personal mementos and beauty products that used to cover her dresser.

It was plain, boring and somewhat depressing. The walls were dingy and white, the floor a dark, ugly wood and no windows. There was a queen size bed with staunch white sheets and pillowcases, a non-descript light wooden three-drawer chest and bookcase that had been spray-painted black. Books flooded the small case but they weren't her usual Nancy Drew and Hardy boy books. These novels were by Poe, James Joyce, Ernest Hemmingway, Shakespeare, Jane Austen and other authors he never heard of.

He shook his head, disconcerted by the find. Now Forman's sadness about the difference in her room made sense. It wasn't the room of the innocent, hopeful, enthusiastic girl she had been. This was the bedroom of the cold, distant, depressed woman that she had become over the last year and a half. There was nothing about this room that said Jackie, nothing that felt like she lived here.

His eyes scanned the room again and landed on a small shoebox tucked in the corner beside her bed. He frowned, scratching the back of his neck as he stared at the faded converse logo. Something about it seemed off to him. The last thing she wore before her coma was high heels so how come the only shoebox in sight was that one? And why was it by the part of the bed that was closest to the wall, like she was trying to hide the box?

Scooping it up, he sat down on the edge of her bed and stared down at it. The nagging, annoying voice in the back of his mind told him not to open it. That he didn't really want to see whatever was inside. Dread spread through his stomach and coursed through his veins as he pondered the contents. Could it be her much alluded to Kelso box? Maybe it was a box for him or Fez? Or maybe all it held were the sneakers that came in it.

There was only way to find out for sure. He ignored the voice in his head that was screaming at him to put the box down and forget that it existed. Pulling off the box top, he felt his eyes widen in shock. "Holy shit."

Small, plastic, see through baggies stared back at him. But these weren't like his beloved baggy. They didn't hold the enjoyable green leaves. Most of them held pills of different shapes, sizes and some were colorful. And one of them held a white, powered substance and a razor that made his stomach turn. On the bottom of the box was a mirror that had scratches and a faint dusting of white powder obscuring the silvery glass and a straw.

"Fuck." He could feel the anger rising in him as he stared down at the drugs and paraphernalia lining the cardboard structure.

It was insane. Jackie would've never touched this shit before the stripper induced downfall of their relationship. She wouldn't have even talked to anyone who did this shit and if any of their friends did, she would have lectured them about it. So the fact that she turned to this stuff once he wrecked their lives, showed just how broken she was. And it also showed just how much she stopped caring about her life.

The anger kept inside him kept spreading. A million different questions raced through his mind. How could she let herself be reduced to this? Why didn't she try to get help? What the hell was she thinking? Where were their so-called friends when she needed them after they broke up? How could Donna have turned her back on her best friend for a stupid fucking stripper with a Trans Am? Was that why she wouldn't listen to them when they did bother to try to talk to her about it?

But not all the blame for the current situation rested on Jackie and their friend's shoulders and his mind obviously agreed as another set of questions taunted him.

Why did he have to hurt her so badly? Did he have to be so brutal, so unforgiving? How the hell could he have ignored the obvious signs of what was going on with her? Was he so fucking full of hate that he was just willing to let her die? Where was his instinct to protect her? Why was he so stupid and insecure that he'd just throw away his only chance at happiness?

He growled in frustration and wanted to hit something. The muscles in his hand flexed in preparation for the hit but he didn't do it. It wasn't an act of self-control or being concerned about Fez having to pay for the damage. The real reason that his fist wasn't buried in plaster right then was because he couldn't. His hand wasn't completely healed yet from the last meltdown he had, the day she woke up from her coma.

Beside, hitting things wasn't going to help. It never did. And while it let out whatever pent-up rage he was carrying around with him, it didn't relieve him of his guilt. Nothing he did or said would ever get rid of that.

But that didn't mean that there was nothing he could do to take away the sting.

The box was gripped tighter in his hand and he stood up, striding purposefully into the bathroom off the living room. He pulled a baggy from the box and opened it, allowing the contents to pour into the toilet. Again and again he repeated the action, until nothing remained in the box but empty bags, the damn razor and the fucking mirror. Flushing the toilet, he watched as his ex's favorite past time swirled down the drain. As he left the bathroom, he tossed the box in the trash and made a mental note to get rid of the bag before he left.

He walked back into her room and over to the drawers. His hands just grabbed her lacy, skimpy undergarments and blindly shoved them into the cardboard box that he brought with him. If he looked at them, they were bound to bring up unwanted memories. When the drawers were empty, he crossed over to the close and pulled the door open. A sea of darkness lay before his eyes. No bright, cheerful colors among the clothes on the hangers.

Black. Navy blue. Gray.

Dull. Dreary. Bland.

Words that he'd never use to describe her. Ones he thought would never have any association to his ex. Because they didn't fit the girl he loved. They belonged to the stranger who had inhabited her body for the past year and a half. The one who had almost been responsible for her death.

There was no way in hell he was bringing those clothes with him. They were nothing more than pathetic reminders of her downward spiral. Her abrupt fall from grace. And Forman was right when he rambled on about this being a clean slate. It definitely could be, for her at least.

He grabbed one of the boxes she had up on her shelf and pulled it down, hoping to find some of her old, normal clothes in there. Most of it was tank tops and shorts. But there were a few things inside that were better suited to the still chilly weather. A pale purple cashmere sweater. Some long sleeved striped shirts. Three button down shirts in girly colors.

They got packed into the box he brought without hesitation. Another box was pulled down and rifled through. He found a five pairs of form fitting jeans and three skirts that she used to wear all the time and looked really good in. Since they were better than the ripped, baggy jeans she had been favoring for a while, he packed them too. His eyes went from the raggedy Chuck Taylor's on the floor of her closet to the black, high-heeled leather boots tucked behind the rest of the junk.

The choice was easy to make. He grabbed the boots and threw them into the box. Closing it, he went into the bathroom again but this time it was to find her beauty shit. But his search of her cabinet came up empty. There were no hot rollers, no jars of beauty bath mix, no endless supply of moisturizer, no secret stash of that fruity shampoo and conditioner she loved so much. She didn't have any of her usual make-up or bottles of her favorite perfume.

"Looks like Mrs. Forman's going to have to make a trip." He muttered as he closed the cabinet because when it came to all that girly crap, he had no idea what half the stuff was for let alone what to buy.

Content that he had everything she needed for now, he grabbed the box and headed out of the apartment. He tossed the cardboard container into the front seat of the El Camino and climbed in. The drive back to the Forman's didn't take long, only about ten minutes. But as he pulled his car into the driveway behind the Toyota, he wished it too hours. Because as he stared at the back of the foreign car, he knew he wasn't ready for this.

That crushing weight that he experienced when Jackie was in the coma bore down on his chest again and made it difficult to breathe. The all too familiar sense of dread had blossomed in his stomach. His palms were moist and that damn lump had formed in his throat, almost choking him. A fine tremor ran though his body and caused his hand to shake slightly. He was tried to move but was frozen in place, not that he really minded because he didn't want to leave the safety of his car.

If he got out, he'd have to go in the house. Going in the house meant that he'd have to face her. That meant that he'd have to deal with watching her struggle to figure out who the hell he was. When she couldn't, they'd have to be introduced. After they were introduced again, he'd have to act like it was no big deal and that it wasn't shredding what was left of him.

He fumbled through his pockets and found his pack of cigarettes. Retrieving one, he popped it into his mouth and lit up. It burned the back of his throat but he savored the sting, inhaling deeply. The nicotine rushed to his head, making him slightly dizzy but he didn't care. It gave him an excuse to prolong going inside and dealing with the most uncomfortable situation he ever faced.

His nerves had just started to retreat when there was a knock on the window. He whipped his head toward the sound, coughing as he swallowed the smoke. Rolling it down, he sighed as he met Red's heated glare.

"What did I tell you about smoking?" The elder Forman inquired tersely.

"That it's a habit only enjoyed by dumbasses and commies."

"Yet, you went back to it." He pinned him with a knowing look. "I wonder why."

Usually he wouldn't get flustered but Red's look wiped away his ability to be detached, calm and Zen. He barely managed to stammer out his weak explanation. "I just, uh, wanted…um, needed, uh a smoke."

"You get her stuff?"

"Good. Put the cigarette out and get your ass into the house with it." The command was gruff and not to be argued with.

He ground the smoke into the ashtray and sighed but got out of the car. Grabbing the box, he shut the door and slowly made his way over to the house. All the turbulent emotions came back to him as he stepped through the sliding doors and followed Red into the living room. The second he stepped into the room, he could feel the eyes on him. It was uncomfortable but he forced his features into his customary mask of stone as he joined them, ignoring the glares he received from Kelso and Donna.

But the heavy, tense silence was uncomfortable and his hold on the box was in danger of slipping. He took a deep breath, prepared to ask if he should bring it up to her room when someone else piped up.

"Hi." Jackie's voice wasn't the usual bubble of excitement or the shrill abrasive sound he was accustomed to. It was tentative, softer and distant. But not distant in the aloof, drugged out way it had been before the coma. This was distant in the polite but unsure way it got when she was meeting someone for the first time and wasn't sure how to react to them.

His eyes found hers over the box and he swallowed thickly as he stared into those mismatched, nervous pools. She was studying him, the oddest look in her blue green eyes. If he didn't know better, he'd swear that she was trying to read him. Suddenly, it felt like he was being strangled. He cleared his throat with an overly loud cough and tore his gaze away from her. "Hey."

The awkwardness that followed the brief exchange was unbearable. Her studious gaze was still on him; he could feel the heat of it battering against his body. He felt the color form on his cheeks and swallowed again, his Adam's apple jerking tensely.

"Oh Steven." Kitty laughed her trademark nervous laugh and took the box from his paralyzed arms. She set it down on the floor and put a hand on his arm, smiling up at him much too brightly. "You look tired and cold. Sit down and relax."

He dropped down into Red's empty chair stiffly and tried to ignore her probing gaze but failed miserably. His foot started tapping at a furious pace, betraying the expressionless look on his face. But there was no way for him to relax or keep it together, no escape from the discomfort. Not when the person who could read him better than anyone else was staring at him so intently. It didn't matter if she didn't have possession of her memory, he still felt exposed and vulnerable under her scrutiny.

Obviously sensing his unease, Eric's voice broke the heavy silence. "Jackie, that's Hyde. He's another friend of ours. You, uh, didn't get to meet him when…"

"I know who you are!" She exclaimed, her voice lilting with something that almost sounded like happiness.

Hyde's eyes flew to hers and he saw the recognition in them. His heart pounded in his chest as her lips curved into a smile that still managed to tear at his heart. But there was no comfort in that dazzling grin; just a torrent of mixed emotions. He had the feeling that things were about to go from awkward to unpleasant really fast. "Shit…"


	3. Chapter 3

**March 21st, 1981 3:45pm**

_Fifth layer of hell, aka Forman's living room_

Six sets of eyes were glued to the former couple, unable to look away from them. Hyde could feel the weight of all their stares bearing down on him and a bead of cold sweat trickled down his neck. It was disconcerting, uncomfortable and made the moment even more awkward than it already was to begin with. He swallowed thickly, wondering why the hell he was the one she remembered and why his luck had to be so bad. Shifting, he tightened his grip on the box and tried to keep his face devoid of the myriad of emotions that coursed through him. "Huh?"

"I do. I remember you!" Jackie's smile was bright and dazzling and her face betrayed some excitement. Those unfathomable mismatched eyes shone as they flickered over his face again then locked on his nervous gaze. "I can't believe it. I didn't think…"

"You remember me?" He asked slowly, cutting her off unapologetically. The tension in his body froze him to the floor, strong enough to negate his instinct to flee, as he braced himself for the inevitable verbal tirade she was bound to unleash if she really remembered him.

"Yes."

"You sure?" His inquiry was soft, almost hopeful and he forced himself to take a step back to protect his shins and groin from her ire, scanning her face and noticing the recognition on it.

Shit, she really did know who he was. He backed away from her some more, needing to put distant between them. But if she was really pissed and launched herself at him then it didn't matter how much he backpedaled. She had an uncanny ability to land on you no matter where you where. And despite how tiny she was; it always hurt like hell.

"You were in my hospital room with Eric when I woke up." She stated firmly, her tone not to be argued with. "You were standing by my bed, talking and you were holding my hand."

"And that's all you remember about him?" Eric's voice trembled slightly on the question and everyone in the room was practically holding their breaths as they waited for the answer.

"Yep." Jackie's eyes found Forman and her eyebrow rose slightly. "Why? Should there be something else I remember?"

"No." Several people answered hastily, Voices cracking, the response having a surreal feel to it.

She turned her attention back to Hyde, eyes sparkling. "I can't believe you're here."

The slight hope he had crumbled and he felt that damn weight in his chest again. It was surprising how disappointed he was by her words and worried about her reaction. From the overwhelming silence in the room, he knew everyone else was experiencing the same thing. He let out a breath slowly and averted his gaze, staring at a spot above her head. "Why's that?"

"Because I was beginning to think that I was crazy or it was just a dream." She laughed, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "But you're real so that means I'm not crazy."

"Uh," He clenched his jaw, the urge to hit something or someone strong. "Yeah, I am."

Jackie was staring, studying him carefully, her head tilted to the side. "So not to be rude or anything but who are you?"

"That's just Hyde." Donna's angry voice piped up and he knew that she was glaring at him like she was trying to eviscerate him. "He's another friend of ours. He just didn't go to the, uh place, to see you because he's..."

"He has to work a lot because he owns a record store. The only record store in Point Place so it's really busy." Eric threw in hastily, rambling, with a pointed look at his girlfriend.

"But you'll see more of him since Steven lives here too." Kitty assured her with a nervous laugh.

"Who's Steven?" Jackie asked in confusion, eyes darting around the room as if she expected to see that someone else had joined the group.

"Steven is Hyde but no one really calls him that except for my mom and-" Eric's clarification trailed off helplessly as he looked at his friend. "And my dad."

"Oh, ok." She nodded, tucking hair behind her ear. "So what's that?"

"What's what?" He shook his head to clear the confusion and followed her gaze down to the forgotten box in his arms. "It's, uh, your stuff."

"My stuff?" She blinked as he thrust the cardboard container at her but refused to take the container. "What kind of stuff? I thought the facility gave me everything…"

"It's your clothes." He mumbled tersely, pushing the box toward her again but she didn't take it from him, pissing him off. Why the hell did she have to make everything so complicated and difficult? "Take it. You need them."

"No she doesn't." Fez argued passionately. "She's a goddess who deserves to be worshipped for her beauty. And she should be naked and photographed to immortalize it and so we can all remember exactly what her lovely body looks like."

"Shut it Ali Baba." Red warned sternly. "Before I photograph my foot in your ass."

"Burn!" Kelso's trademark cry didn't have the usual enthusiasm or conviction that came along with it. It was obvious that he was just doing it as a way to break the suffocating tension in the room. But it a waste of breath because nothing was capable of cutting through the strain except a nuclear explosion.

"Just take the damn box." Hyde snapped, his nerves and patience shot, pushing it toward her.

Jackie reached out and accepted it, her smile falling into a deep frown as she looked up at him, her eyes showing her distress. "Ok, I'll take it. I just don't know where it's supposed to go."

He felt like an idiot for forgetting that and almost snatched it from her arms, angry with himself for being an asshole. She had amnesia and didn't know how stressful it was for him to be dealing with her. If he wanted to come out of this twisted ordeal in one piece then he needed to enact his stay as far away from her plan as soon as possible. And this was a perfect place to start. "That's cool. I'll just bring it up to the room, your room."

"No, you don't have to." Jackie insisted, putting her arm on his bicep. "I have to know where to go anyway. Just point me in the right direction and I'll take it to my room."

"Steven, bring the box and the loud one," Red sighed at the look Kitty gave him. "I mean, Jackie, upstairs and help her get settled in."

"I can help her." Donna stood, shooting him a dirty look. "It'll be…fun."

"We can all help." Fez looked excited at the prospect, his creepy gaze locked on the cardboard box and most likely imagining getting his hands on the bra's and panties that resided inside.

"Yeah, sure, fun." Kelso nodded and grinned but it was forced.

"Uh, I guess." Eric frowned as he shrugged, a bewildered expression on his face.

"No, Steven is going to help her." Red reiterated in his patented hard ass tone. "The rest of you dumb-asses are going to either leave or go down to the basement. Anywhere as long as you're out of my sight."

Kitty chuckled falsely, laying a hand on her husband's shoulder. "Now Red, they're just excited to have Jackie back and want to help."

Hyde wasn't paying attention to the others as they started their petty bickering. He was staring thoughtfully at his ex. She looked freaked out by all the attention and overwhelmed by what was going on. A sliver of guilt stabbed through him and he sighed, rolling his eyes. "You all heard Red! I'm helping so get the hell out of here."

Ignoring Donna and Kelso's protests, he started toward the stairs. "Come on Jackie."

"I'll see you all later!" She called out as she made her way to the stairs, giving the occupants of the living room a wave.

He didn't say anything as he climbed the stairs or made his way down the hall. She didn't speak either. But that was fine by him. If she did try to talk with him, he had no idea what to say. It was obvious from her reaction that no one had filled her in on the relationship they had at one time or what they were like towards each other now. Probably better that it wasn't rehashed. At least there wouldn't be any tears or yelling today.

Stopping in front of the door to Laurie's room, he waited for her to catch up with him. She stopped too and just stared it. Moments passed and the remained shut. He laughed as he realized what had to be done. "It won't open by itself. There's no one inside to open it and since my hands are full, I can't either."

"Oh, yeah, right." Jackie took a deep breath and opened the door, her expression troubled. But even though the door was open, she made no move to step a foot over the threshold.

"Go in." He encouraged tightly, trying his best not to shove her through the door.

She nodded slowly, wrapping her arms around herself. Five steps into the room and she stopped again. It seemed like she hugged herself tighter and her frown deepened. Her breath came in noticeable puffs and shook tremulously. Nails dug into the material of her shirt then released the fabric worriedly.

He brushed past her into the room and set the box down on the floor then turned around to face her. "You all right?"

"Huh?"

"You seem anxious."

She tried to smile but it wobbled. "I'm not good with new places, especially ones I've never been before. They make me a little uncomfortable."

"Ok." He didn't bother to explain that she had been there before, even spent a night in that very room when he wouldn't let her go home to an empty house. There'd be too many questions and he wasn't good with giving answers, or at least giving her the ones she wanted. His attention returned to the box and he opened it, pulling out her beloved boots with the pointy toe that could do so much damage. "Here, make yourself useful and put these somewhere."

"Heels?" Her tone was worried, apprehensive.

"Yeah, they're your favorite."

"They are? But they're so high." Her voice squeaked slightly and he could tell that she was studying them intently. "I might fall."

He looked at her and saw the fear written on her face. Maybe he should have brought the sneakers instead, no matter how un-Jackie he thought they were. It didn't occur to him that she might not remember how to walk in those designer boots anymore. "If they don't work out, we'll get your sneakers."

"Thanks Hyde."

It sounded so wrong to hear her using his last name to address him. For a second, it was hard to catch a breath because it felt like someone had plunged a dagger into his chest and pierced his heart. He closed his eyes and focused on slowly dragging some air into his burning lungs. It was such a stupid thing, one she had no control over. But it bothered him because even after they broke up, she still called him Steven.

Part of him, the side that he was furious still existed, liked the fact that she used his first name. Because as long as she called him Steven, their relationship wasn't truly dead. But hearing her call him Hyde made him remember that they were nothing. That in her mind, as of right now, their relationship never existed. It could remain that way for the rest of their lives too.

He shook off the thought and opened his eyes, noticing that she was staring. This situation was too hard. There was no way he could be around her when she had no idea what they meant to each other. "What? Do I have something on my face or something?"

"Tell me about yourself." She intoned, sitting on the edge of the bed. "That day in the hospital, you took off before I could find out who you were and then you didn't come to the rehab center like everyone else did. So I don't know anything about you and we're supposed to be friends..."

"We're not."

Jackie blinked, obviously confused. "What? But Donna said that you were a friend of ours,"

"I'm a friend of theirs. Not yours." Hyde bit out bitterly, scowl twisting his lips. "We're just two people who have mutual friends and are going to be living in the same house. That's it. We're not going to be friends either."

"Oh."

He straightened but couldn't look at her. It hurt too damn much. So he looked up at the ceiling and swallowed roughly as he told her the only thing he could to keep her away from him and make her realize that she was better off without him. "It's the way it's always been and it's going to stay like that."

Her breath hitched and he knew what was about to happen. A sob echoed in the room and tore threw him. Something's never changed. No matter what, he always seemed to know what to do to make her cry. He didn't want to look but he did and saw the tears sliding down her face.

"You don't need me." He didn't know if he was referring to now or back then. "You can put this stuff away yourself."

Before she could say anything, before he gave into the urge to wrap his arms around her and apologize for being an ass, he turned and walked out of the room.


	4. Chapter 4

**March 21st, 1981 10:30 pm**

_Forman House_

Randy was cool once or so was the belief. Maybe that was never true and the thought had stemmed from something else. The fact that the group couldn't just consist of the four who remained in Point Place because it wouldn't have worked. They needed someone else to keep them interested and Randy had pretty much fit the bill. He had filled the void in the group left by the others adequately, even made things interesting for a while like when he spear headed the great clown caper.

His personality was an odd mixture of Forman and Kelso, kind of girlish and completely in love with his looks. One minute he was coming up with crazy schemes and the next, he was trying to play mediator whenever someone had an argument. For a while, it made it easier to handle the fact that the once tight knit group of friends had suffered a huge blow and were starting to fall apart. But to be honest, once Forman returned and Kelso started visiting more, Randy had pretty much been phased out.

He still existed at the edge of the group though. Fez had warmed up to him a bit now that the core group was back together. Donna and him still talked but she was back together with Forman and only interested in playing matchmaker. When Kelso was in Chicago visiting Betsy then he'd get the call to come and hang with the group. Still working at Grooves allowed him to take part in circles with Leo and Hyde.

It worked for them. He was who like a stand in when one of them weren't available to have a circle or take part in the latest wacky plan. Basically he was nothing more than a spare part. Someone who was good for a laugh but easily forgotten. Who lifted out without any trouble or lingering ties and wasn't really missed.

Hyde didn't know exactly when that had changed. Or when Randy start getting on his nerves and found his way to the top of the very short-list of people who needed to be punched out. When Forman came home? When Kelso came crawling back from Chicago because he burned down the Playboy club? Was it once he started dating Jackie? Could it have been when he joined Donna and Kelso on the dillhole express?

Was it when he saw him with Jackie for the first time on New Year's Eve? Maybe it was when he walked into the living and found his former friend with his arms wrapped around the amnesiac brunette and her head resting on his shoulder. It could have been when he saw him lean over and press a kiss to her forehead. Could be when he heard him call her honey. Or was it when he saw the prick cop a cheap feel when he "accidentally" brushed against her chest.

Whatever the reason, he was really tempted to drive his fist into the bastard's face. But it wasn't because he was jealous. Nope, not at all. Ok, maybe he was a little jealous but that wasn't why he wanted to hit Randy. Not this time at least. It was because Jackie looked uncomfortable with Randy, really uncomfortable. Her smile was forced, too bright and her posture was stiff, rigid with tension.

That proved how badly Donna lied when she gushed on and on about the perfect, happy, loving new couple. She had described them as a carbon copy of her and Forman. Gloated that they were so perfect for each other it was as if the union was destined to be. The peroxide blonde even went as far as to proclaim that the feathered-haired man was the one Jackie would end up marrying. But the only thing the two couples seemed to have in common was the fact that one was male and one was female.

There was no ease and naturalness to Jackie and Randy. They didn't even look right together, let alone like they cared for one another. Her laughter at his lame-ass jokes was brittle and false. She almost cringed when his lips met her cheek, forehead or mouth. Every time he pulled her closer, she'd scoot away and take a deep breath. Just like she did when she was with Fez.

While most of the group would probably chalk it up to her memory loss, he knew there was more to it than that. She wasn't into the guy and never had been. And it wasn't just him hoping that she had zero interest in the guy, it was painfully obvious. From the expression on her face, sitting next to Randy was about as enjoyable as getting all her teeth pulled by a rusty pair of pliers. Like she'd rather be anywhere else, with anyone else even though Randy had spent countless hours with her at the rehab center.

If his doll could stick it out for more than a month, he'd be impressed. But if it went longer than that, he'd be shocked. Or maybe not since Donna seemed determined to make sure that Jackie ended up with Randy. She'd probably do everything in her power to force Jackie to stay with him. Even brainwash the tiny girl into believing that the puffy haired bastard was her perfect love.

Unless he stepped in and gave his ex a hand in ridding herself of the unwanted idiot. It would be fun and easy, something to past the time. Plus Red did instruct him to be helpful to her; actually it was more like he was ordered to assist her. What would be more helpful than running off her new boyfriend?

He decided to make his presence known as Randy's wandering lips journeyed closer to Jackie's mouth and stepped into the living room. Dropping down in Red's chair, he cracked open his beer and offered the duo a patented smirk. "What's up?"

"Nothing, now." Randy muttered, looking away from him, his hold on the brunette loosening.

"We're just hanging out." Jackie smiled tightly, her face betraying her relief that she no longer had to be alone with her so-called boyfriend.

"That's cool." He stated, completely Zen. "Want me to split?"

"No!" She cried a little too eagerly then laughed. "It's your house too. You can sit wherever you want to."

"Whatever." He took a calculated sip of his beer, feeling Randy's glare on him and enjoying the moment. Suppressing a chuckle, he decided to give the blonde guy a real reason to hate him. "You know, the Forman's usually don't like company past ten. Keeps them up then they're tired when they go into work."

"Oh, I didn't know." She was trying to sound contrite but the words lilted with excitement.

"Figured as much. Just thought you should." Another deliberate mouthful of beer was swallowed slowly and savored.

She turned her attention to Randy, who looked like he had bitten into a lemon. "I think we should call it a night. I don't want to impose on the Forman's anymore than I already have. Plus, I'm tired anyway."

"Ok," He stood up and kissed the top of her head. "I'll call you later and I'll see you tomorrow night Jackie."

"Can't wait." Her voice held no conviction. The hug she gave him was about as warm and lingering as one of her kicks to the shins. She trailed him over to the door, keeping her distance, said another quick goodbye then shut the door on him before he could go for a real kiss.

"Didn't kill your date, did I?" He mused, eyeing her carefully.

Jackie sat back down on the couch, her knees against her chest, chin resting on top of them and her mouth a tight line. "Nope, you didn't."

"Good to know." The words were a grunted and disinterested. A perfect, flat monotone that would lead people to believe that he really didn't care to match the stoic expression on his face. No one could see the curiosity or thinly veiled amusement in his eyes because they were carefully hidden behind his beloved sunglasses.

Casually, he took another drink from the can and waited for the inevitable moment when she'd spill her guts. All he had to do was sit back and wait for her to be unable to take the silence anymore. Then she'd start talking about her "boyfriend" and fish around to see what he thought about it. Because she always had to know what people thought, always needed to have approval. Unless, of course, she wouldn't fall into the familiar pattern this time because she didn't have her memory.

Maybe he could give her a push in the right direction. "What is it?"

She sighed and he could feel the weight of her blue-green gaze on him. "Randy's nice huh?"

"Sure."

"And he's been there for me."

"So I've heard." He threw out tiredly, draining the last of his beer.

"I like him…" That declaration was wobbly, unsure. "Donna says that I always have, ever since we met him. That I was really bummed when they had their little fling because I wanted date him."

He stared at her, eyebrows raised. Usually, he wouldn't care. But he really wanted to know what line of bullshit Donna had been feeding her. And see what details the vengeful blonde had omitted in her version of their lives. "Oh yeah?"

"Uh-huh." She nodded, looking very nervous about that admission. "And I guess I could see why I like him. I mean, he's not bad looking and has nice hair. He's nice…"

"I don't remember that." He rolled his eyes at the pile of garbage that she had been fed. "I remember you asking her why she was dating him because he was so, what was the word you used, lacking. And I also remember you making fun of him and his fetish for his hair. You had a nickname for him."

"I did?"

"Yep."

"What was it?"

"I think it was something like pretty-boy bore or dumb dip-shit loser." He informed her flatly, not tearing his gaze away from hers. "I also remember you rolling your eyes every time he tried to talk to you and making an excuse to get away from him."

"But, I thought, I mean, Donna said…"

His eyes remained locked on hers and he shook his head. "Listen, it's obvious to me that you're just going by what Donna says because she's your best friend. Don't. Because she's going to put the best possible spin on things because she doesn't think you can handle the truth."

"Yeah, I figured as much." Her voice was soft, tired and wavered slightly. "I tried asking the other's some things but they avoided it or they repeated what Donna said. Some of it must be really bad, huh?"

"Some of it is." He broke eye contact; staring into the distance at something only he could see and thinking about the fact that most of the bad stuff was directly related to him and the things he did. "I guess that by not telling you about it, she's just trying to protect you or something."

"I understand that Donna's looking out for me, that she doesn't want to upset me but I should know. The doctor's want them to fill me in on things so I can try to get my memory back." There was so much passion in her voice that it blew him away. "That includes the good times and the bad."

Hyde usually thought honesty was the best policy in situations like these but not this time and definitely not right now. There was no way she could handle knowing the truth. Her emotions were still so raw. It was fine to fill her in on stuff like Donna's need to sugarcoat things or how she really felt about Randy. But not telling her that her own parents didn't care about her, that he betrayed and hurt her or that she had spiraled down into a world of drugs that led to her coma and memory loss.

"I know that I'm small and no one thinks I'm strong, but I can be."

He knew better than anyone that was true. She hung tough throughout their relationship, pushed him into doing he didn't want to but turned out to be best for him. Even that damn ultimatum was a show of her strength. Letting him know that if he didn't want to or couldn't commit to a life with her that she wasn't going to just settle. That she could take of herself and have a career and a life that didn't involve him.

But that strength had been worn down by always being cheated on and never having someone return her unconditional love. It was torn to shreds by pointed jabs and mockery bestowed upon her by the people she cared about. Dashed by the fact that she couldn't find a good one and kept getting fired from the crappy ones she landed. And crushed by the fact that every time she tried to pull herself up, something or someone knocked her down.

She hit rock bottom a long time ago, and had been crushed by the weight of the impact. Because she wasn't still capable of being the same stubborn, determined, strong girl or else she would never have let her appearance go. Wouldn't have retreated into herself. There was no way she would have sat idly by and watched as her life fell apart. Never would have started to drink so much. Would never have even contemplated touching anything more potent than a stupid joint.

"Hyde?" Her questioning tone brought him out of his ruminations and he blinked, focusing on the girl who was looking at him like she was worried about him.

He forced himself not to flinch as she used his last name. It didn't matter how many times he heard her say it, he didn't think he'd ever get used to it. "What?"

"Are you ok?"

Drawing in a deep breath, he released it slowly before giving her a vague answer. "Just thinking."

"And you agree with Donna and the rest of them. You don't think I could handle knowing the truth about my own life. You think that I'm weak and need someone to coddle me." Jackie shook her head sadly, eyes glistening with tears as she stared at him.

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to." She snapped brutally, a droplet of moisture cutting a jagged path down her flawless, olive cheek. "It's written all over your face and that damn silence."

Hyde wanted to tell her that she was wrong. That he thought she could handle knowing about her life. But he couldn't. Because he really didn't know if she could handle it or deal with knowing. All he could do was watch as she got to her feet and bolted up the stairs, disappointed in him for what had to be the millionth time since they met.


	5. Chapter 5

**A.N: **I just want to thank everyone for the wonderful reviews. They really mean a lot to me. This part will have to hold you over for a few days because I'm going out of town in a coupel of hours for a wedding, which I'm in and won't be back until late Monday night. Hope you all enjoy it and have a great weekend!

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**March 23rd, 1981 1:12 pm**

_Forman's Patio_

It wasn't going to get easier. In fact, it was probably going to get much worse. Hyde knew that for sure now. The past two days had proved him right on his suspicion that being forced to live in the same house as his amnesic ex was going to be hell. But in all fairness, it wasn't the diminutive brunette who was driving him crazy. The honor of trying to drive him out of his mind belonged to the two people who had become the bane of his existence, Donna and Kelso or as he started referring to them, bitter bitch and ignorant idiot.

Donna continued to take veiled verbal jabs at him. Assassinating everything about him whenever she opened her mouth. But that paled in comparison to what the cruel bitch was doing to her "best friend". She continued to praise Randy to Jackie, holding him up a shining example of what she needed and the type of man she deserved. Anytime Jackie mentioned that she didn't feel that way, Donna would try to convince her that it was only a symptom of not having her memory. Then she'd point that if Jackie let him go when she couldn't remember what they had been building, she'd only regret it later when her memory returned.

Kelso just kept his attacks directed at Hyde, attempting to goad him into a violent reaction that would prove to his ex exactly how unstable he was. He'd pick at every aspect of Hyde's life. Going on about how the only thing he cared about was getting drunk and high. Pointing out every flaw in his character. Jumping on the fact that him and Jackie were never really friends to begin with. All done in the weak, ridiculous hope that raven-haired beauty would keep her distance from him.

The funny thing was, their actions seemed to be driving her away from them. When Donna called yesterday morning to check up on her, Jackie blew her off and said that she was tired and planned to spend the day sleeping. Then informed her that she wasn't up to the taller girl visiting her. It didn't sit well with Donna as she complained when she stopped by the basement but she knew better than to push.

Later that night when Kelso arrived, without calling first, she had Mrs. Forman tell him that she didn't feel well and was napping. That had ticked him off. He stomped away in a huff and disappeared into Donna's house, probably so they could plot their next strategy since this one had crashed and burned. But they weren't the only ones receiving the brush off from Jackie. Randy's calls were being declined and she told Red to tell him that she needed some space.

It was funny to watch them get the freeze out because they deserved it and he had to admit, he enjoyed seeing her show some of her infamous stubbornness. She was more vibrant, more alive than she had been in a long time. That brief flash of who she used to be brought a wide grin to his lips. Because for a few, brief, seconds, she was the strong, determined girl who refused to back down from anything, who always got what she wanted. The one who was more than capable of driving someone to their knees with just a patented glare.

The girl who wouldn't bend or break or allow anyone to make her decisions for her. Who would fight for what she wanted, literally and figuratively. She had that light in her eyes again, the one that always amazed him, the one that made you think twice about messing with her. Even her trademark, eye roll and hair flip had made a return along with her distinctive huff of annoyance. And it was a damn good sight to see. Because it was vintage Jackie, not the lifeless shell she had been before the coma.

Badass, take no prisoners Jackie was back.

Hyde fished a cigarette from his pack and lit up. He took a deep haul of the smoke and held it in his lung, relishing the burn. The nicotine brought a much-needed calm to his nerves and his mind, which had been continuously racing since her impressive display of mental power. Because the woman he glimpsed yesterday was the one he had fallen in love with, the one who could drive him crazy in the best possible way. And damn it all if it didn't have the same effect on him now as it did then.

And he hated that. He wasn't supposed to feel that way anymore. Didn't really have the right to. Not after everything he had done to her. But it was painfully obvious that it was a cross he'd have to bear for the rest of his life. That completely sucked. Knowing that he could have changed things a long time ago, made everything right if he hadn't been such an asshole but didn't was a hellacious burden to have to carry.

The sliding door opened but he didn't turn to see who it was. Honestly, he didn't really care because he wasn't in the mood to deal with anyone. He concentrated his attention on his cigarette, taking another long drag from it. Blowing smoke rings, he tried to ignore the penetrating gaze that was on him. Ignoring the heat that spread through his body and the urge to turn around and capture it.

They stood next to him and he resisted the urge to close his eyes at the all too familiar warmth their proximity caused. His chest constricted but it wasn't from the smoke. It was because he knew who it was, without having to look at them or hear their voice. The reaction to their nearness was pure instinct, something primal and uncontrollable. Every muscle in his body coiled in anticipation of a touch that wasn't going to come.

He swallowed thickly and tossed his the burnt remnants of his smoke away with a negligent flick of his fingers, needing to escape before his chest exploded. But when he turned to make his getaway, the look on her face froze him. It was one he'd seen many times before, when Kelso or Fez had done something stupid. He had even been on the receiving end of it after the nurse debacle. That perfectly distant mask she slipped on when she had made a decision about something.

Finding his voice, he asked one simple question. "What?"

"Randy's on his way over." Jackie sighed and her mismatched eyes rolled in barely masked aggravation. "Guess he doesn't understand the concept of needing space."

"Want me to get rid of him?" He offered without thinking, mentally cursing himself for doing something so stupid.

A ghost of a smile tugged at her supple lips, "No, I think I should see him."

"Why?" He didn't know why he bothered to ask because he had a feeling he already knew the answer. Maybe he just wanted her to confirm it or maybe he was hoping that he was wrong. Whatever it was, he had to know.

"Because I've decided to end it with him." There was no remorse, no guilt and no hesitation in her soft, firm tone. "Better to get it over with now and have less of a mess than lead him on and make him think he has a chance."

"You sure?"

"Oh yeah." She chuckled a little. "I've been thinking about it since I met him in the hospital but I was too confused, too scared to do it. But I can't keep pretending that I like him or his attention just because other people tell me it's what I want."

He nodded, understanding her reasons. "As long as it's the best thing for you, it's cool."

"It is."

He saw Randy's car pull to a stop at the beginning of the driveway and took a deep, heart-steadying breath. "I'll go inside."

"Hyde," Her hand shot out, clamping down on his arm. She turned her head toward him and he could see the worry in her eyes. "Could you stay out here? I sort of need the moral support and for someone to tell me if I did it right."

Biting the inside of his cheek when she used his last name again, he ignored the usual lamenting that came with it. Her request surprised him. Ok, it was more like it shocked the hell out of him. But he could never refuse her when she gave him that look. Plus, he had to admit that it might be amusing to watch her tell Randy to take a hike. "If that's what you want."

"Thanks." She gave him a grateful smile as he dropped down into one of the chairs.

"Hey beautiful!" Randy greeted as he came to a stop in front of her, his dopey smile blinding and brilliant. "Feeling better?"

"I will be." Her response was tight. "I need to talk to you about something. Something important."

Randy's gaze flickered to Hyde then settled back on Jackie. "Ok, you want to go someplace and talk in private?"

"No."

"What is it?" The concern in the stand-in's voice made him sick to his stomach because like everything else about him, it was completely fake, crafted to maintain the good guy image he so carefully worked on.

"I don't want to see you anymore." Jackie informed him bluntly. "Maybe it's your lame jokes. The freaky obsession with your hair. Or maybe it's because I think you're the most boring man I ever met."

Hyde fought to keep himself from laughing out loud. This was awesome. He had been expecting it to be entertaining but her no hold's barred approach made him wish he had a beer to enjoy the decimation fully. His eyes went to Randy, who looked like she had slapped him across the face and he had to bite back more laughter. If she kept going at him like that, Randy was bound to cry.

"Whatever it is, it's not what it's supposed to be." She stated flatly, crossing her arms over her chest. "When I'm with you, I wish I wasn't. You touch me and my skin crawls. Maybe it wasn't always like that but it is now and the present is the only thing I can base my decisions on."

"But, but Jackie…" Randy stammered, his voice trembling. "I really like you."

"Sorry but you kind of repulse me so I can't be with you."

Hyde was riveted to the action. His eyes bounced between his icy ex and the devastated pretty-boy whose eyes were covered in a wet sheen. Oh yeah. He was going to get to see her make the moron cry like a little bitch. This was rapidly shaping up to be the best day he had in a long time.

"Jackie, you can't mean it!" Randy's voice broke on a half scoff, half sob and he blinked, sending a trail of water down his cheek. "You and I are perfect for each other. We're both good looking and come from similar backgrounds. Whatever you want me to be, I can change into!"

"That's just it. I don't want you to change because I won't like you no matter what you try to be." Her tone had turned shrill, annoyed, almost hostile. "So take the hint and go find yourself someone who's content with what little you have to offer."

This had to be the funniest, most burn laden break-up Hyde ever witnessed. Suddenly, he was very happy that she asked him to stay. Because he definitely would've been pissed if he missed this. He was getting a sick, perverse thrill out of watching her rip her now ex fling to tint little shreds. Now all he needed was for her to kick the whimpering man and his day would be complete.

"I can't believe this." Randy whined, swiping at his eyes. "I really thought we could've had something great. That you could have been the love of my life."

"That's your problem, not mine." She huffed, her patience obviously running out.

"And you won't reconsider?"

Hyde was really fighting the overwhelming desire to burst out laughing. Holding it in was really starting to hurt. It was getting harder to swallow it down. But it was better that he didn't break Jackie's momentum. No need to incur her wrath for distracting her from the annihilation she was orchestrating.

"No." She shook her head to emphasize her point and tossed silky, wavy, chocolate colored tendrils over her shoulder. "Bye Randy. Hope you have a nice life."

Randy stared at her for a second, pouting like a petulant child then whimpered and stormed off. He'd probably throw a temper tantrum when he got home. Or call Donna and cry on her shoulder. But as his car screeched away, one thing became official. He no longer had his spot as the group's stand in.

Hyde broke down, loud, rumbling guffaws falling freely from his mouth. That was the only sound for several moments. He was laughing so hard that his eyes started to water and his breath kept hitching. His lungs were burning with the need for oxygen and his throat was drier than the desert. It was physically starting to hurt but he couldn't stop, didn't really want to.

"I didn't do that right, did I?" Jackie's voice trembled with suppressed chuckles.

He wanted to respond but he couldn't. The laughter just wouldn't stop. It reminded him of the time he got so high in the circle that he had been plagued by the giggles all day.

"Hyde! It's not funny." The admonishment lacked any conviction because her chuckles were breaking through her voice.

Straightening up, he looked at her and smirked. "Yeah, it is."

"Ok so it is." She relented, rolling her eyes. "But I'm going to catch hell about it from Donna! She's going to drone on and one about this for hours."

"Hey, it's your life. You got the right to live how you want to and to be with whoever you want to. If she can't understand that, fuck her." He shrugged, once again in control of himself, the Zen mask back in place.

"I know." Jackie nodded sagely. "I could just do without the lecture."

He understood that better than anyone. Hell it was something he had to deal with all the damn time. "All right, I have a plan."

"A plan is good."

"Anyone who answers the phone when she calls will say that you're still not feeling well and that you're not to be disturbed. If she decides to come over, we employ the same strategy."

"Eric will never go along with that." She pointed out, scowling slightly. "Something tells me that he's completely whipped and will crack in a second. Unless we can find a way to stop him."

Hyde smirked at her perceptiveness, enjoying the fact that they were teaming up in a scheme once again. They were always really good at it. Maybe it was because neither one of them were plagued by things like morals or ethics. Or maybe it was because they were both determined to get what they wanted. Anyway you sliced it, it worked for them.

"Don't worry about Forman. He won't put up a fight. I have enough embarrassing, damaging stuff on him to make sure he goes along with it for the rest of his less than spectacular life." He assured her confidently with a wink.

"You're going to blackmail your best friend?"

"Uh, yeah, that a problem?"

She shook her head, an evil smile curving her lips. "Not at all. In fact, I wish I could've thought of it."


	6. Chapter 6

**A.N:** My roommate is an idiot and screwed up my computer, badly. So it's going in the shop. Thankfully, I had already uploaded this chapter before I went out of town. That means that I won't be able to update until I get the computer back.

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**March 26th, 1981 11:15am**

_Forman's Basement_

It was too damn early to be up and way too early to have to listen to Forman's latest whiny tirade slash lament about his life. But that's exactly what Hyde found himself doing, along with rolling his heavy, burning eyes. He really didn't have a choice. Forman had woken him up and refused to go away until he came out into the main room of the basement. It was obvious that the scrawny guy was serious when he sat down on the chair in the bedroom and stared at him until he relented.

There was an upside to watching Forman work himself into a lather. He got all twitchy and his hands moved faster than the eyes could follow, flying around to punctuate every loud, whiny syllable that passed his lips. His voice would get all high and tight like a chick's and his eyes would get all wide. Exactly like he was right then.

"This plan sucks, really sucks. Not just a little either. A lot." Eric threw his arms around wildly, spastic and annoyed. He paced back and forth, burning a hole in the cement. "It's completely messing up my life!"

The sight was absolutely hysterical but still not worth being up at this time of the morning for. If Forman kept it up, there was bound to be a beating dished out or he'd give himself an aneurysm. At least it'd be entertaining. "Huh, sucks for you."

"It does! Because of you and your damn affinity for blackmail, Donna's cut me off! It's been two days and that's way to long to have to go without it."

"Only two days in and you're already bitching?" He clucked his tongue. "Grow a fucking spine man! Be strong and remember, she wants it just as much as you do."

"Well I can't take much more of this. If something doesn't give soon, I'm going up to the water tower with my light-saber and I swear I won't come down until head's roll!"

"Uh-huh." He yawned and closed his eyes. "Be sure to wake me when you're done."

"Jackie needs to talk to Donna."

"Why? So Donna can lie about how much Randy meant to Jackie again?" The inquiry was terse and he folded his arms over his chest.

"She wasn't lying so much as stretching the truth." He hedged.

"Well, she stretched it way too thin. Damn thing was transparent by the time she was done with it."

"She had Jackie's best interests at heart."

He chuckled mirthlessly at that, rolling his eyes. "I have trouble believing that and nothing you'll say will change my mind."

Eric stared at him for a second then his face twisted in a grimace. "Whatever man. All that matters is because you threatened to tell everyone about what happened when we were fifteen, I'm not getting any!"

"You should be used to that by now. After all, she's cut you off like what, a hundred times?" He laughed, shaking his head. "It never gets old though."

"I'm so glad my misery is amusing to you man." Eric huffed, his infamous hand gestures stabbing at the air. "I bet it makes it even funnier that this little celibacy stint is all because of Jackie!"

"Yep, that's good stuff man."

"Kelso's mad at me too. Got an extra loud cry of outrage from him when I told him the cover story. Almost made my ears bleed." Eric sulked, stopping his pacing and dropping down on the couch with a sigh. "How much longer do we have to do this for?"

"Until Donna agrees to stop acting like a bitch and let go of the Randy issue." Hyde smirked as he remembered the aforementioned man's face. "Maybe if you tell her that he bawled like a chick, she'll stop."

"I would have loved to see that." That got a chuckle out of the whiny man. "I swear I miss all the good stuff!"

"Yeah, your timing sucks." He nodded proudly. "There are hit-men who showed more mercy than she did. I mean; she went after the hair, the jokes, how boring he is. It was better than a movie with a high body count."

"So what's your favorite part about it? The fact that she shredded him," Eric wondered, studying him carefully. "Or that this means that she's single again?"

The basement door slammed open, causing them both to jump. Donna stormed into the room, angry and ready to do battle. Her cold eyes flickered between the guys then settled on her boyfriend. "I need to talk to you. Now. In private."

Hyde was grateful for the interruption. He stood and gave his worried looking best friend a sympathetic look as he headed to the stairs. "Good luck man."

He didn't go all the way up them though. When he was out of sight from the couple in the basement, he sat down on the stairs so he could listen to what was being said. There was a huge chance that the burns would fly fast and furiously. That was something he didn't want to miss. Plus, spying meant that if Forman got rattled and started to crack, he could run interference.

"Donna listen, this whole thing with Jackie, I know that you're doing what you think is best for her…"

"I just don't get it Eric." Donna cut him off snottily. "How can you possibly agree with what she did? She needs someone who cares about her, to keep her from falling back into old, bad habits."

"There's no need to worry about that. We won't let her go back to drugs-"

"That's not what I mean and you know it!" She yelled in outrage. "This is about her tendency to gravitate toward Hyde when things go wrong and the fact that she ends up with nothing but a broken heart because of it."

Eric sighed, the sound loud enough to echo in the basement. "Donna, you don't know that it's going to happen again."

"Oh really?"

There was a pause. "Yeah, it could be different this time. It could work out or they could actually find a way to be friends."

"It won't happen." She scoffed loudly at the notion, almost bitterly.

"What makes you think that?"

"History just seems to repeat itself where that relationship is concerned."

"Donna," He began but she cut him off abruptly.

"No, don't Donna me. It's the truth! Do you know how many times I had to sit back and watch as she shattered over the latest problem between them? How I had to try to convince her that everything was going to be all right? That she would be ok? How I told her that he wouldn't cheat on her again?"

"I-I-I can't say that I do."

"You don't know how she cried herself to sleep for months after Sam showed up. Or how she'd have nightmares and wake up screaming. How she wouldn't eat. She'd just lie on the cot and stare at the ceiling for hours then burst into tears. When she finally tried to talk to him, to tell him that she'd forgive him, he chose that stripper over her! I thought that was it, that she was going to forget about him and move on but she didn't, she broke completely."

"No, I didn't know that." Eric cleared his throat. "But now that I do, you being friends with Sam makes even less sense than it did before."

There was another sigh but this one came from Donna. "I only became friends with Sam for Hyde's sake. I really didn't want to but I was trying to hold the group together because we were falling apart without you or Kelso. I shouldn't have though and I've spent the last year trying to make it up to Jackie. Unlike him whose only tried to inflict more pain on her."

He shifted on the stair, holding back a sigh. As much as he wanted to deny the allegation, it was true. Every bitter word out of the angry woman's mouth was a fact. Over the last year and a half, he'd gone out of his way to be as nasty and brutal to her as possible. His vicious burns and feigned ignorance to her downfall was just more proof of that.

"He only did it because he was hurting." Eric stated flatly, none of the usual wavering or uncertainty in his tone. "I think after what happened in Chicago, he sort of lost himself and fell back on how people expected him to act."

"Yeah, well, Jackie lost herself because he became an asshole hell bent on destroying anything good in her life." Donna seethed. "Look at what he did when she was interested in Fez. You know, I still think he had something to do with the fact that Fez dumped her for no reason."

Hyde's lips twisted in a smirk. That was one of the few things he'd done that he wasn't ashamed of. He was actually proud of getting Jackie away from the perverted foreigner before something happened that she'd regret. Because that's all there'd be if that farce of a relationship had somehow continued. Not to mention the all the embarrassment he saved her that came along with dating someone who was known for his creepy and perverted ways. So really, he did her a favor on that score.

"You know why he did it."

"Because he's a selfish jerk?"

"He was jealous that Jackie had moved on." Eric clarified earnestly. "He won't admit it but I know that he still loves her."

"And she still loves him." Donna shot back heatedly. "But that doesn't change the fact that all Hyde does is hurt her and make her cry. That he always finds some way to let her down and crush her spirit."

A heavy, pregnant silence settled over the basement for a few moments. The tension in the air was thick, almost suffocating. There was the sound of a throat clearing then Eric's nervous voice broke it. "He wanted to push her away because he couldn't handle being around her."

"Pushing her away pushed her over the edge. He blames us for her downfall but takes no responsibility for his part in it. But that's typical Hyde. Deny you did anything wrong and you can believe it." Her voice hitched. "And because of that callous attitude, I might have lost my best friend."

"Donna, she could still remember."

"I don't know if I want her to." The sad admission broke on a heavy sob. "Because then she'll recall all the bad stuff and will probably go right back to the drugs and end up killing herself this time."

Hyde swallowed thickly as fear spread through him. He hadn't even considered the possibility that once she got her memory back that she'd go back to the lifestyle that nearly did her in. That he could still be faced with the fact that she'd be out of his life for good. Because he didn't want to. Thinking about it made the possibility real and reality always seemed to suck.

It was the main reason he'd spent the better part of the last two years as drunk and high as he could get. When he was in that state of mind, he couldn't remember all the bad shit let alone think about it. Didn't feel the weight of the world he created for himself bearing down on his shoulders. There was nothing but a pleasant haze that protected him from the harsh realities of his situation. It was a much easier way to live when nothing but having enough alcohol or marijuana mattered.

Eric's emphatic voice dragged him out of his thoughts. "This time we know how serious it is. How unstable she is. There'll be no believing her excuses or telling ourselves that it's no worse than what we do in the circle. And we'll do whatever we have to in order to stop her before it gets out of control this time."

"I just don't want her to have to go through any of it again." Donna's voice was raw and strained with emotion.

"I know but we have to try to help her remember." Eric informed her firmly. "All the pieces have to be put together. That includes the not so pleasant things too. But we'll all be there for her to help her through it."

"That's not true." She sniffled loudly. "You know the second things get tough, Hyde will bail on her like he always does or taunt her about the mistakes she makes. Then she'll end up devastated and drowning in her own misery again."

"This might all be a moot point. Who knows what's going to happen if she remembers? Or even if she'll ever remember."

"God, Eric, this isn't helping!"

"The only thing we can do is be there for her, help her when she needs it and hope that things finally work out for the best. And no matter who Jackie wants in her life, we have to accept it and be happy for her." Eric stated pragmatically. "Maybe then, she can finally have the life she always wanted."

Hyde got to his feet and headed up the stairs, done spying. After hearing why Donna had been acting the way she was, he understood it. She was afraid for the petite brunette, afraid of losing her. That was the reason she was pushed her toward Randy and why she was working so hard to keep Jackie as far away from Hyde as she could. All she was doing was following through on her instinct to protect her best friend.

He could respect that. Protecting Jackie had been his primary instinct even when he thought he hated her. That's why he took her to the prom, always tried to get Kelso caught cheating, punched out that Chip guy and frogged the moron twins whenever they were hitting on her. It's also the reason he chose Sam over her. Unfortunately, he had pushed it aside over the course of the last nineteen months. And she had suffered the consequences of that action.

For the past couple of days, he let himself forget that something was wrong; that the girl he was plotting with wasn't herself because it was easier. But Forman and Donna's conversation brought it all back to him. He couldn't ignore the facts anymore. If she got her memory back, they'd go back to how things had been between them. And if she didn't she'd have to be filled in on every aspect of her past, including their relationship, which would only hurt her more.

It was as inevitable as the government screwing people over. If this alliance brought them closer, once she found out the truth she'd hate him. Even if he told her all about their past together, she'd despise him. But if she got her memory back and realized that he hadn't tried to tell her, she'd kick him until there was no skin left on his shins then go back to loathing him. All it meant was that he was so far past screwed that he couldn't even see screwed anymore.

"Shit." He raked a hand through his hair, frowning.

He'd already caused her enough pain, both unintentionally and intentionally. Why not put an end to the vicious cycle and walk away from her for good? She'd be better off without him in her life. Happier. More secure. Wouldn't have to deal with his burns or inability to say the right thing. She'd get the closure she always wanted. There'd be no more unwanted interference from him when she started dating someone.

Hadn't that been what he intended to do when Sam showed up?

Didn't he owe her that much?

Would that make her happy?

The taunting questions danced through his mind but unfortunately weren't accompanied by the answers. His hand made a rough pass over his face and he sighed, trying to figure what to do since all signs pointed to yes as being the right response to all those questions. Even though it sounded simple, there were a few things to consider. If he followed through with it, she'd be confused and hurt. So how could he do it and not cause her more pain?

As soon as he focused on getting the answer, his brain switched gears and asked more questions that stole the breath from his lungs.

If he cut her out of his life now, wasn't he just bailing on her again? Wasn't he just doing what he did best and avoiding an uncomfortable situation? Didn't she deserve more than to be abandoned by someone else she trusted? Wouldn't he be proving Donna and Kelso right?

And once again, all the answers to those questions were a resounding yes. But there was one question left floating in his mind, one he had no answer for.

Could he deal with not having her in his life?


	7. Chapter 7

**A.N: Sorry that this has taken so long to update but I currently don't have a computer of my own. I can only write little bits and pieces when I'm over my parents house. That also means that I can't update very often. Sorry, again, if the flow of this chapter is off because of it. **

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****March 27th, 1981 1:30 am**

_Forman House_

Hyde never really used the front door. In all the years he had been at the house, he always used the back or basement doors. Made it a lot easier to come in and out without being noticed, especially when he was younger and out past Red's curfew. It was also a force of habit, a routine that he had fallen into and never broken, and one that worked out really well when he was intent on avoiding someone. But for some reason, both of those doors were locked tonight.

It didn't take a genius to figure out who locked them. Eric could always read him like a book. The short conversation they had after Donna left must have clued the high-strung kid into the fact that Hyde was intending on falling back into another old routine, avoiding Jackie because he didn't know what to do. So being the huge pain in the ass that he was, Forman probably decided to take things into his own hands in order to force him to deal with things. What better way to put the plan into motion than making sure that he couldn't slip into the house unnoticed and hide out in his room until he knew what he was going to do.

Not that he had many options. He could go out of his way to avoid Jackie for as long as possible and hope that she got her memory back. Then there was the option pretending that they were just friends and continuing on with the way things currently were. Or he could do what everyone thought was the right thing and talk to her about their past. Then there was the last ditch option, driving his head into a wall until he either lost his memory too or dropped dead.

Suddenly, the latter was looking more appealing. A lot more appealing. In fact, he was tempted to give it a shot just to make life easier.

With a sigh, he put his key in the front door and turned the lock, which made an eerie audible click. The door opened with an annoying squeak and he grimaced. Everyone in the house probably heard that sound. He looked up at the stairs, expecting to see an anxious Mrs. Forman waiting there, worried about her baby. Or Red standing at the top, smirking down at him and unleashing a crack about how he was about to find out what it was like to go through a war. But there was no one, not even a knowingly grinning Eric or a bewildered Jackie.

Relief flooded through him. Maybe the front door of doom hadn't done him in after all. A heavy sigh escaped his lips and he retrieved his keys, shutting the door behind him. As he was passing by the den, he noticed that there was a light on Red's den. He stopped in the doorway, staring at the small, huddled form on Red's chair. There was an open photo album splayed across their lap.

"Mrs. Forman?"

She looked up at the voice and a small, tired smile spread across her lips. "Oh Steven, I didn't hear you come in."

He ventured further into the room, studying her intently. She seemed troubled, lines of tension etched into her face. "Anything wrong?"

"Jackie had her first session with that psychiatrist." Her eyes rolled and her grin turned into a scowl. "That poor girl. She was in tears for hours after getting out of that moron's office. I have half a mind to tell Red and let him at that quack."

"Why?" He sank down at the ottoman and looked up at her, his face betraying his interest in the subject. "What happened?"

Kitty shook her, "He was informed about her family situation from the facility but the first thing he does is start in on how if she had a stronger family support system, she wouldn't have fallen into the problems she did. Then he goes on and on about how she needs to stop being so weak and grow up."

"Huh," His blood was boiling, rage cracking through his veins. That old, white-hot instinct to hit whoever hurt his doll flared to life. He clenched his hands into tight fists and set his jaw, desperately trying to keep his temper in check. "And this guy's supposed to help her?"

"So they say." She sniffled, wiping her eyes and looking down at the photo album in her hands. "That poor girl. No one should be yelled at for cracking if they've gone through as much as she has. Her parents never cared about her. They left her to grow up with maids while they drank and caroused. As for the idiots she's dated…"

His eyebrow arched in amusement as he stared at the closest thing he ever had to a mother as she flushed and her words choked off. "You're right. Kelso and Fez are idiots."

"Well, Steven, you acted like one too over the last couple of years." Her reprimand was delivered softly but firmly.

"I know." He shrugged, "But we should get back to the current bad guy, her shrink."

"You know, I would love to see him deal with half the pain Jackie has and see how well he came out of it." She huffed, her hand idly tracing a picture. "Bet he cracked faster than an egg in Eric's hands."

"Mrs. Forman, maybe he's being tough on Jackie because he thinks that what she needs to get her through this."

"No," The older woman insisted with a vehement shake of her head. "This guy has had many patient complaints lodged against him for excessively rude behavior. He has a superiority complex a mile long. I don't know why either. It's not like a psychiatrist is a real doctor anyway."

Hyde's brow furrowed and his lips tightened into a tight line. If what Mrs. Forman was saying was true then he didn't know if Jackie should go back to the asshole. The last thing she needed right now was someone else essentially burning her for the mistakes she made and making her feel worse. She needed someone who would help her but push her slightly too. Someone who cared about her, who wouldn't let her fall, who'd protect her…

"I mean, he's been with the hospital for a year and that's way too many patient complaints." Mrs. Forman's voice wrenched him from his thoughts and he nodded his agreement even though he hadn't heard a word she said.

He cleared his throat with a cough, catching her attention. "When's her next appointment?"

"In two days."

"I'll take Jackie to it."

Her face reflected her outright disbelief that he'd willingly do anything for his tortured ex-girlfriend, the one he'd gone out of his way to hurt so badly. "You will?"

"Yeah, if this guy's as bad as you say then it's better if a guy takes her. Since you couldn't trust Fez or Kelso to do it, Red shouldn't have to fight this battle and Eric would probably end up crying along with her, that only leaves me."

"That's so sweet of you Steven." She closed the photo album and placed it on the table, standing up with a chuckle. Bending, she engulfed him in a hug. "Sometimes it's simple to fix things. It's not always about saying sorry or figuring out what went wrong. It's about showing someone how much you care that will make everything right again."

He drew back from her, blinking in confusion. "What?"

"Goodnight Steven." Kitty gave her signature laugh and placed the photo album in his hands.

"Night Mrs. Forman." But he wasn't paying attention to her; his gaze was locked on the leather bound book in his grasp.

Hyde really didn't want to open it because he knew what his surrogate mother was up to despite her attempt at being clever. This scheme was as transparent as her attempts to throw a surprise party. He didn't want to see the numerous pictures of their lives before it all went to hell. Nothing good would come of taking a walk down memory lane to a time when they were happy. It wouldn't accomplish anything and it sure as hell wouldn't fix the horrible situation they were in.

He wasn't going to look.

It was as simple as that.

Setting the book on the table, he stood up and stretched, a wry smirk pulling at his lips. He'd catch hell about his choice in the morning but it was worth it not to be manipulated by anyone, let alone a woman who hid bottles of wine around the house. As he walked over to the door, he stopped and looked back at the book. Would it really hurt to just take a quick look? A vehement shake of his head and a mental reprimand for even considering it, he walked out the door and went upstairs to take a shower.

All the doors upstairs were closed, except for the room Jackie was sleeping in. As he passed by, the sound of whimpers caught his attention. He stuck his head into the room and frowned, watching her twist and turn on the bed. Her expression was pinched, almost horrified as the cries intensified.

"No, no, no…" her voice was a pained murmured. "Please, no."

He ventured in a few steps, heart hammering in his chest as he watched her thrash on the mattress.

"Oh my god, no!"

On instinct he moved closer to the bed.

"How could you?" Her lips trembled on the broken question.

"Jackie," He whispered, reaching a hand out to wake her from whatever nightmare she was having.

"Steven, no!"

His hand recoiled and his eyes widened as he stared down at her, trying to figure out if that last cry had been uttered awake or asleep. But her eyes were still remotely closed, those heart-wrenching whimpers tumbling from her parted lips.

"How could you Steven?" Her voice broke on a sob. "A stripper!"

He felt his heart constrict as she moaned those words. Her nightmare was his doing. The single worst choice he ever made was about to serve as a catalyst for something so important, the return of her memory. If she woke up and saw him standing there, it wouldn't be good. She'd probably choke him to death or stab him with the heel of her boot.

Hyde took a step away but her scream froze him in his tracks.

"NO!"

She sat up in bed, mismatched eyes as big as saucers. Rough, ragged breaths were greedily gulped into her shaking body. Tiny, trembling hands raked through long, raven locks as she tried to compose herself. As if sensing that he was in the room with her, those eyes landed on him.

His voice failed him, not permitting him to make an excuse. Not that there was ever anything he could say to make up for Sam. He could try to explain that away for the rest of his life and fall short.

"Hyde?" Her voice was raspy.

The usage of his name made him cringe as he tried to find his voice and find the words to make a quick retreat. But he was frozen, paralyzed by his own regret.

She expelled a shaky breath. "What are you doing in here?"

"You were having a nightmare." He mumbled quietly, trying to look away from her piercing gaze but unable to do so.

"A nightmare? Really?" There was something about her tone that troubled him, something that pulled at his heart.

"Yeah."

"A nightmare." She repeated softly and nodded almost imperceptibly to herself. Her eyebrows drew together and her teeth tugged at her lower lip as her stare became disconcerting, weighted. She pushed errant pieces of hair out of her face with annoyance and sighed heavily.

Hyde took a deep and asked the question that would inevitably lead to nothing but pain and bitterness, even though it needed to be asked. "So you remember?"


	8. Chapter 8

**March 27th, 1981 2:20am**

_Jackie's Room_

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Jackie blinked, her face a mask of blank confusion. Her eyes made a quick pass over then settled on his. "Do I remember what? The dream?"

Hyde considered that question for a minute, trying to decide how to proceed in case she did remember and was attempting to trap him. Since he wasn't in the mood to get his ass kicked by a ninety-five pound chick with berry colored toenails, he decided to play it cautiously. "Yeah, the dream."

She closed her eyes and her face scrunched up in thought. There was nothing but silence for a few, long, torturous moments as she appeared to be searching for the answer to his question. Slender finger grasped the bridge of her nose and a small, breathy groan slipped out of her parted lips.

"You alright?"

Her head gave a swift nod in confirmation but she held her position. The uncomfortable silence lingered for a few more moments then she heaved a sigh that was heavy with evident frustration. "Why can't I remember it? The dream just happened but now there's nothing about that I recall."

Relief swept through him, followed by a tinge of disgust. He should want her to remember, to be able to recall every horrible memory of what he did. But it was easier if she didn't. Gave him more time to figure out exactly what he was going to say to explain their twisted past together. Although if these dreams kept occurring then he was going to have to bite the proverbial bullet and come clean with her, sooner rather than later and deal with whatever the consequences of his actions were.

"Hyde, what is it?" Her worried voice broke through his thoughts." Oh my god. The fact that I can't remember a dream I just had is a bad thing, isn't it?"

"No." His declaration was empathic, a little too empathic. "It's nothing to worry about. Most people don't remember them. It was probably something stupid anyway."

"It couldn't have been."

"Why not?" He had a feeling that he was going to kick himself for asking that one once she gave him an answer.

"If it was something stupid then it wouldn't have made me feel…" She trailed off helplessly, her cheeks flaming with color.

He swallowed thickly, "How'd it make you feel?"

"It made me feel like my heart had shattered into a million tiny, sharp pieces and pierced my lungs, making it impossible to breathe."

That was a feeling that he could relate to because he was experiencing a sensation really similar to her description at that very minute. The only difference was that his was accompanied by a painful, persistent pounding in his head. There was also an acid-laden pit in his stomach that was really unpleasant.

"And my hands won't stop shaking." She held them out for closer inspection. "This was definitely the worst one yet."

"Yet?" His voice cracked on the simple question.

"The people at the clinic and the Forman have told me that this happens every night. I never remember having them or what they're about but I've never had any physical reaction because of them before."

He could add being punched repeatedly in his nauseous stomach to the list of his current ailments as al the pieces of the puzzle fell into place. Subconsciously, she remembered her life or at least parts of it. But since the things she remembered were so painful and disturbing, her mind was suppressing the memories as soon as she was awake.

"Hopefully, I'll never have another one like it ever again." She expelled a tremulous breath and pushed her still trembling hands through her tousled hair. "Thanks for waking me."

"I didn't get to. I mean, I was going to but you woke yourself up before I could."

Jackie wet her lips, "Maybe I was dreaming about my psychiatrist. The session I had with him today was pretty bad. He'd cruel and rude…"

"Speaking of that," Hyde was grateful for the momentary chance of subject. "I'm going to take you to your next appointment."

"You are?"

"Yeah, you know, in case the guy gets too rude and needs to be straightened out." He gave her a smirk.

"He might not like that. In the session we had today, he said that one of my issues is that I'm too dependent on other people and that's because of my parents neglecting me. That since I wasn't shown attention or genuine affection that I cling onto whoever shows me the slightest bit of interest."

While there was some small, microscopic sliver of merit to the shrink's observation, the way it was phrased so crudely pissed him off. Given all the shitty things that she had happen and all the people who supposedly loved her either walking out of her life or screwing her over, she had a right to try to hold onto the few that remained in it. It was a basic, human instinct. One that might make her weak in some people's eyes but in reality, made her stronger and more determined. After all, someone who was weak wouldn't fight to the death for every relationship they had, even when it probably wasn't worth it.

He was aware that she was staring at him, waiting for his response, needing to know if he shared the quack's opinion of her flaws. One shoulder rose in a half shrug and his smirk reclaimed his lips. "Who cares what the asshole thinks or says? From what I heard, sounds to me like he had head-up-his ass-syndrome."

But his quip didn't have the desired effect. Her beautiful face remained pinched and sad, something resembling self-loathing briefly darkening it. "I just don't know why he's so mean to me. I want to remember, I really do, but yelling at me isn't going to help."

"No it's not."

"I didn't ask to forget my life. Or at least I don't think I did." She shook her head. "But I'm trying as hard as I can to remember. Shouldn't that be enough?"

This was one of the rare times that he wished that he wasn't him. When he wanted to be someone who had the right words and could express them to ease her pain. That he could just get past everything and say what she wanted and needed to hear. The only thing he could offer her was the truth. "It should but for some people, nothing you ever do will be enough. You just have to say fuck them and do the best you can."

"Yeah, I guess."

"You know, you could be trying too hard to remember." He ventured cautiously, not wanting to upset her further. "Maybe if you relaxed and stopped putting so much pressure on yourself, your memory would start to come back."

"You're right." She rolled eyes that were covered in a glistening sheen. "It's just hard to be in the dark about your own life and the people in it. Then when I hear something but don't feel a connection to it…"

"What do you mean?"

"Well," She sighed, "Take Donna for instance. I know that she's supposed to be my best friend and that we rely on each other. But honestly, I don't feel it at all. It seems like all I do is piss her off. Plus, we're so different that I really can't see how we could be friends."

He had to choose his words carefully and not allow his own anger at Donna to seep into Jackie. "You two have a different outlook on life and people but she cares about you a lot and she wants to protect you from getting hurt."

"Huh, I guess I didn't look at it that way." She pulled her lower lip between her teeth and studied him for a second. "I should probably give myself a chance to get to know her and try to reestablish that connection."

"Probably."

"It's weird though."

Hyde's unease was growing but he decided to ask anyway, despite the voice in his head that was screaming at him not to. "What's weird?"

"The fact that you and I weren't friends but I feel a connection with you." That studious look was back on her face, lighting up those mismatched eyes and made them radiate with a heat that caused a bead of sweat to trickle down the back of his neck. "So why is it so easy for me to be around you when it's so hard for me to make myself be around Donna?"

His mind was screaming at him to run, to get as far away from his observant ex as he could before the situation turned dire. It was better to flee from this impending battle of wits than to stand by and become a causality of the petite brunette's relentless inquiry into the hows and why's of the connection she felt toward him. Unfortunately, his body refused to comply with his brain's insistent command and remained rooted to the same damn spot on the floor.

"Why weren't we friends?"

Crap.

How the hell was he supposed to answer that? On the surface, the question was easy enough but she'd see through any bullshit response he threw out to her. The truth was an option but only if he wanted to screw himself. It definitely wouldn't set him free or lift the weight from his shoulders. In the end, it would only cause him nothing but pain, both physical and mental.

As usual, patience was not her forte. She huffed exasperatedly and tossed another loaded inquiry at his feet. "We hung with the same people, probably did spend time together. So how come we didn't have some kind of relationship?"

He opened his mouth to speak but since his mind was a swirling mess of lies and truths, no words could form. So he had no choice but to stand there with his mouth agape, looking like an idiot under her scrutiny.

"Hyde whatever it is, you can tell me." Jackie assured him earnestly. "No matter how bad it is. I just need to know why you and I weren't friends."

"Because we weren't, ok?" He blurted out, hoping that she'd buy the vague excuse that was about to spew out of his mouth. "It is what it is and that's the way it's always been so it's a waste of time to look for reasons."

"No, it's no." She was undaunted by his obvious agitation with these endless, way too exposing questions. "There has to be more to than that because if not then that's just ridiculous."

"Jackie, leave it alone."

She shook her head, that infamous stubborn streak making an appearance. "No, something tells me that leaving it alone is the worst thing I could do."

"I don't want to get into it." The statement was practically a growl of warning, one he hoped that she'd heed. But from the determined look on her face, he knew that hope was a worthless one even before she opened her mouth.

"Hyde, tell me right now, why couldn't we be friends?"

"Because we're too much alike." His voice rose as he moved toward her. "Both our families sucked so we covered it by being who people thought we should be. The no good burnout and the perky, bitchy cheerleader. We weren't supposed to ever be anything to each other and we were supposed to hate each other…"

He was breathing hard and erratically as he towered over her, feeling the all too familiar urge to silence her with a kiss that would answer any other questions she had.

"Supposed to?" She looked up at him and the expression on her face nearly sent a shiver down his spine. "But we didn't hate each other, did we Hyde?"

His lips remained parted but he didn't offer her any confirmation.

"Oh my god." She murmured, getting to her feet and staring up at him in shock. "We may not have been friends but something happened between us, didn't it?"


	9. Chapter 9

_Author's note: After battling a case of writer's block, I went back and forth on this for so long, trying decide which of the two options I had in mind to go with. Basically, it turned out as a cut and paste job between the two. I know that this part is short and most likely very up and down. I apologize for that and the fact that it completely sucks. Now onto the story…_

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**March 27th, 1981 9:20am**

Hyde sat up in bed, beads of cold sweat rolling down his body. His eyes scanned the room, expecting to land on a petite brunette glaring at him from the shadows but she wasn't there. Taking several deep breaths, he pushed unusually shaky hands through his matted hair and tried to steady his bizarrely racing heartbeat. It wasn't real. That whole unpleasant situation was something his mind had conjured up, nothing more than a warning of what could happen.

That knowledge didn't provide him any relief. It horrified him to the depths of his rotted core. The last thing he wanted to do was have that conversation with Jackie. Dredging up the numerous ways they destroyed each other and rehashing the final, ugly moments of their shattered past would only serve to rip open the fragile scabs that time didn't seem capable of healing. There were numerous other self-mutilating things he could do, like jab a knife in his chest or cut out his tongue.

Those options were bound to be a hell of less painful than filling in the blanks about their nearly three year disaster of a relationship was concerned.

He ran his hands over his face and fell back against the mattress with a groan. It didn't happen often but he was pissed at himself. All these thoughts and the cold chill of fear, it wasn't him. Normally, he'd just brush this off and move on. Never look back, that was what had gotten him through his miserable existence of a life.

This was Forman's fault. He was the whiny, emotional, girly one. The have to talk about it type, who couldn't or wouldn't let go even when he should. Obviously being friends with him and living in the same house for so long had done a considerable amount of damage to Hyde's carefully crafted stonewall. The constant stream of "do the right thing" and "You know what you have to do" caused the mortar of cold, calculated aloofness to diminish.

"Forman's dead." He muttered between clenched teeth, uninjured hand curling into tight, tense fist by his side.

As if thinking about the twitchy kid summoned him, he stuck his head into the room. "I thought I heard you up."

"Huh."

"Any particular reason you're awake before you're usual time of late in the afternoon?"

There was a smug, know it all smirk on Eric's face that caused his anger to spike. His hands involuntarily flexed and his answer came out tersely. "Nope, no reason at all."

"Sure it had nothing to do with whatever dream was making you toss, turn and yell?" The question was posed with a genuine bemusement that was going to get real old, real fast.

"Oh that," Hyde smirked coldly, "I just had a dream that you and Donna were going to try to get married again and I got dragged into the whole sorry mess."

Eric's cheeks flushed slightly and his eyes wandered down to the floor. "Oh."

Instinctively, he knew what was coming and sighed, already envisioning the potential hell that was about to unfold. "Tell me you didn't propose again."

"I…I," The stammering trailed off with a helpless shrug.

"She didn't say yes, did she?" A tiny nod confirmed the bad news and he sat up, his stomach clenching in dread. "There's a date set, isn't there?"

"Well, we figured since we still had the decorations, clothes and list from the first ill-fated attempt…" Eric once again trailed off and shrugged. "It's like mostly done already so uh, we, uh…"

The dread spread, encasing his entire body and he cut his friend off from his stammering, pathetic excuses. "And when exactly is this going to happen?"

"Saturday."

"Not the Saturday that's two days away?"

Eric nodded quickly. "That would be correct."

"You're fucking kidding, right?"

Forman opened his mouth to speak but either couldn't find the words or was afraid to say them, so he closed it again and shook his head.

"Who are the best man and maid of honor?" His former best friend took a shuddering breath and pinned him with a look that told him everything he needed to know. The dread he felt turned to anger. "Jackie and Me? An amnesiac and the person everyone blames for her downfall? The two people who, when things are normal, hate each other?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Were you two high? Drunk? Out of your fucking minds?"

"No."

Hyde got to his feet and crossed the room, intruding on Forman's personal space. "Then what the fuck were you thinking when you thought up this ridiculous idea?"

"I know that this sounds, well it sounds crazy." Eric admitted as he took a step backward, into the main room of the basement. "But there's logic behind it. Really, there is."

"And that would be what?"

"That with all the misery and turmoil everyone's been through the past few years, we need something happy to happen. Something good to help alleviate the bad." The explanation was rushed, practically tumbling other of the shaking man's mouth.

"And you two were what? Too lazy to pick a new maid of honor and best man? In the mood to inflict punishment?" Hyde hissed, his anger threatening to erupt.

"You're my best friend and Jackie's Donna's best friend. It just makes sense!"

"Maybe it made sense back then but now, it doesn't." The words were a harsh growl. "In case you still haven't realized it, those days are dead. Donna and Jackie were barely friends before she lost her memory and they've barely spoken since then!"

"Because of you." Eric stated flatly.

"What?"

"Come on Hyde, think about it. You left Jackie and went to Vegas. Came back with a stripper wife."

"Your point's what man?"

Forman sighed, "Donna tried to accept Sam because you're her friend and for some damn reason needed to have an excuse not to work things out with Jackie and decided to keep her around. Yeah they got along but because of the complications, Donna couldn't hang with Jackie when she was with Sam. That made Jackie feel like her friend abandoned her."

"Bullshit!"

"What's bullshit about it?"

"You acting like you have the slightest fucking idea what went on."

"Then enlighten me Hyde."

"Donna dropped Jackie because Sam had a trans am, just like she dropped you because Casey Kelso had one. Then she kept pushing Jackie away when she was trying to get in Randy's pants because it was easier than being there for her so-called best friend when she needed her."

Eric flinched visibly and his eyes narrowed. "You know, you lashing out at people when they hit a nerve gets really old."

"And you being blind to Donna's faults is even older."

"I don't get you man." A shake of the head followed that declaration. "You say you're over it. That you moved on and never looked back. But I know you haven't. I saw it for myself that day in the hospital room, when you gave Jackie that ultimatum to try to get her to wake up."

"It was a ploy."

"No, it wasn't." Eric informed him confidently. "It was as real as anything gets. You love her. Always have and always will. But you're too much of a coward to do anything about it because it's not easy and you have to put some damn effort into making things work."

"I don't love people. I don't know how many times I have to tell you that the only things I love are Camaro's, alcohol and my stash."

"You can say it to the day you die. Have it put on your tombstone but that won't make it the truth."

"You know what, I'm tired of this." He rolled his eyes. "Do yourself a favor and find another idiot to your best man because I won't be there to see this disaster this time."

An eyebrow was raised, "Going to pull one of your infamous disappearing acts? Take off on Jackie again when she needs you? Prove that everyone's right and you're nothing but an asshole?"

It was Hyde's turn to flinch but he said nothing, forcing his best Zen mask to form on his face. "Sure, why not?"

"No worries man." Forman's tone changed, becoming heavy with sarcasm, his stance stiffening. "I'm sure Kelso, Fez or Randy would die for the chance to walk down the aisle with Jackie. Then they'll probably try to make good on the oldest rule of being a member of a wedding party. Nail the hottest bridesmaid."

The cheap shot landed, hard and on target. There was nothing he hated more than having his own words used against him in connection to someone trying to get into his ex-girlfriend's pants. Every muscle in his body was coiled, begging to release the pent up tension that bound them. In his head, his fist was connecting with Forman's smug face and making a satisfying mark. But in reality, his body was frozen and his clenched hands were locked in the same position they had been in for what seemed like an eternity.

"Jackie will be fending them off left and right."

"Shut up."

"Or maybe she won't. Maybe she'll decide to give one of them a chance. If all goes well, he'll have her screaming his name in no time at all." The musing was vicious. "Jackie is a screamer right? Cause she seems like she'd be. What was it that she always said? Oh yeah. A woman should be an acrobat in the bedroom."

Fire was running through his veins and he shifted, trying to relieve the tautness of his muscles. Forman didn't want to keep playing this game. Not if he knew what was good for him. Because he wasn't sure how much longer he could hold his temper in check when it was begging to be released.

"Guess Kelso, Fez or Randy will be finding out Saturday night." Eric winked. "No worries buddy, I'm sure one of them will videotape it for you."

That did it. His paralysis was broken and his fist connected with Forman's face. The pain was instantaneous and he could feel the blood flow over the cracked flesh of his already broken knuckles. He growled and clasped his wounded hand to his chest, mentally cursing himself for not leading with his left.

Eric stared at him, a strange triumph shining on his face. "I think we can safely say that my point was proven."


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: **Sorry that this took so long to get out. Real life was a bit of a pain for a while and work takes up a lot of my time. But the one thing that also caused me problems is that I did something I vowed never to do and watched the farce that was s8. Admittedly, for a while, I didn't want to write Hyde because I hated his ass.

I'm gonna try to get better at updating, if anyone is still interested.

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**_Forman Kitchen_**

**_March 28, 198- 2:14am_**

Hyde finally stumbled through the sliding doors, twenty minutes after he gotten back to the house. For some damn reason he couldn't get them open. No amount of pushing or pulling would work. Now when he was finally victorious over the damn things, the groan they made was overly loud and grated on his alcohol addled nerves. Freezing in his spot, anxious eyes flew to the door on the opposite side of the room as he waited for someone to bust him.

The door remained shut, there was no sound of footsteps and he let out a tremulous breath. Taking his first step, something unexpected happened. The usually coordinated drunk crashed into the padded kitchen chair. He snarled obscenities at another obstacle he couldn't overcome in his drunken state and without thinking, kicked the thick metal leg in the center the of the chair. Pain instantly spread through his foot. Wincing, he grabbed at his boot and promptly lost his balance.

He blinked in surprise at the fact that he ended up in a ruined heap on the floor. Accepting that inanimate objects were conspiring to bring him down, he lay back on the floor and glared at the ceiling. For a minute, he wished that it would just crash down on him and put him out of his misery once and for all. But then again, knowing his luck, it would only maim him in a non-life-ending kind of way.

The stealthy return he had been planning was no a outside shot as the unwanted sound of the swinging door entered his ears. If this was Red, he was going to end up being be the first ever recipient of the older man's much threatened foot in the ass. On the other hand if it was Kitty, then he would drown in the tears she shed over the pathetic state he was currently in. However if it was that whipped, wimp he called a best friend then maybe, just maybe, he could find the ability to get up and punch him again. After all, it was Eric's fault that he went out and got this drunk.

Toned, bare, amazing legs entered his field of vision. He moaned as his eyes traveled over the perfectly muscled calves, midway up her tight, strong, taut thighs. Mentally, he cursed the hem of the black nightshirt she had on for obscuring the rest of her tantalizing body from him. Forman was so wrong. It would have been better if he never went to get her clothes and she had to walk around naked.

"Hyde?" Jackie's voice shook slightly. "You all right?"

He tried to get up, to reassure her that he was fine. But that damn chair reached out and tripped him again. For the second time that night, he ended up a graceless heap on the ugly tiled floor. Deciding that it was better to stay put and not deal with the wrath of anymore objects seeking his demise, he weakly looked up at her. "Yeah. I'm good."

She tilted her head to the side, studying him. "You sure about that?"

His eyes swept over her face and the barely concealed amusement painted on it. Those lips, the ones that could dive him insane with the need to kiss them, mocked him ruthlessly and he felt his heart start to uncomfortably pound in his chest. "Yup."

"So you always stumble in and fall on the floor?"

"No," his answer was honest, "I usually make it to the couch or bed."

"But not tonight?"

"Apparently."

Her eyebrows rose in question. "So you're just going to stay down there?"

"I don't know." He mused, drunken grin on his face as she shifted slightly and the movement allowed him to be able to see up her shirt. "It's not so bad down here. Floor's cool. View's nice…"

A knowing look flashed crossed her face and she took a step back, ruining his view. She huffed and rolled her mismatched eyes as she extended her hand toward him. "Come on you pig. I'll help you up."

"Uh…" He grimaced as he realized that a certain part of his anatomy had enjoyed his momentary peek of his ex's naughty places more than he would have liked. No need to make this situation anymore awkward than it already was. "Yeah, like I said I'm good."

"No, you're not." She said flatly, shaking her head slightly. "If you were, I doubt that chair could down you down so easily."

Anger prickled in him and he felt the old familiar urge to burn her. To tell her to go to hell. Scream at her that what he did wasn't any of her business. That he didn't want or need anyone or anything especially her. But he bit the inside of his cheek, trying to hold his impending explosion back.

"Hyde,"

A growl broke through his defenses and she stared at him, startled. The rage swelled and he kicked the chair over, causing her to jump backwards as it loudly on the floor with a padded thud. His eyes focused on her and they were filled with a crazed frenzy. "Stop it! Just fucking stop!"

"St...stop what?"

"Stop fucking calling me Hyde!" He ground out. "I don't want to hear it coming out of your mouth!"

His outburst scared her. He watched as he throat worked to swallow and she released a shuddering breath. "What? Why? But that's what everyone calls you…"

"You never did! So stop."

A sob escaped her and she closed her eyes, unable to look at him. Immediately, his mood shifted. The anger was replaced by another familiar emotion as Donna was always so fucking fond of saying. _Guilt_. And it was fucking overwhelming. He groaned and couldn't look at her anymore.

"Just let me help you up, ok?" Her hand clasped his upper arm and a small shriek tumbled helplessly from her mouth as he roughly yanked it out of her grasp. "What the hell is your problem? I'm just trying to help you…"

"Don't." The word was a brutal hiss. "I don't want help. I never do."

She huffed angrily, her hand going back to her side. "I don't know what the hell your issue is but you need to stop taking it out on me. From what I've seen, I'm one of the few friends you have that doesn't spend most of the time pissed at you. So unless you want that to change, you better drop the attitude and just accept the help."

"Jackie…" Sure she talked tough but one look at her face negated the fierceness of her statement. The pain that his words put on her face, that anguish that shone from those eyes that always captivated him, shredded his gut and caused even more guilt to wash over him. He sighed, body slumping dejectedly. "I'm sorry, all right?"

Something briefly flickered across her face. An emotion that was gone too quickly for him to recognize. Her glare softened slightly and she rolled her eyes. "Fine. Give me your hand."

"Yeah, that's not happening."

"Why?"

He smirked at her frustration. "There's no way you could actually pull me up. In case you haven't noticed it, you weigh like ninety-five pounds."

"I'm not as weak as people think I am."

There was an edge to the way she said that, one that instantly caused a bolt of panic to shoot through him. Because he had the feeling that they weren't talking about the current situation anymore. That the pointed remark referred to something else entirely. Something he had a feeling he didn't want to delve into. But he had to know and took a deep breath before warily asking, "What do you mean?"

Again something flickered across her face but it was gone before he could pinpoint what the emotion was. Her posture changed, tensing somewhat and she hastily averted her blue/green gaze to a spot above his head. "Nothing. It meant nothing."

But her rigid stance belied the words she carefully tossed out.

Arms crossed over her chest. Hair flipped back over her shoulder. Mismatched eyes brimming with anger. Lush lips set in a tight line. Slight flush to her porcelain skin. Small but firm chest heaving indignantly…

Hyde swallowed. He'd been on the receiving end of that look so often that he knew it all too well. She was pissed about something but trying to cover it up. Like she could do that with him. Hell, he knew her better than anyone else. Even after all the time he had spent trying to forget and drive her from his mind and heart.

"Jackie, it did mean something." Déjà vu was laughing at his back as they words left his mouth. He lost count of how many times he said that to her throughout the course of their relationship. "Listen, I really suck at reading minds. So just tell me."

"I'm just tired." She sighed and closed her mouth, a small shake of her head serving as a warning that she wasn't gotten to speak about this anymore.

He genuinely wanted to know what she had to say. So he swallowed the usual urge to run from this petite girl who was capable of destroying him and managed to weakly climb to his feet. His hands seized her shoulders and he stared down at her, intently as he prodded his shaking ex. It came out of his mouth almost desperately. "Please…just…what are you tired of Jacks?"

"Not knowing. Feeling like there's nothing but all these secrets around me that are just waiting to come out and throw my life to the side." Moisture shone in her jeweled colored eyes and he felt his stomach lurch in anticipation of the next thing she said.

"Of being so lonely…" Her words choked off with a sob and once again, she sadly shook her head, unable to continue.

His heart was hammering in his chest. Adam's apple bobbed as he struggled to swallow, struggled to find the right words to respond to that. But nothing was forthcoming. So he did the only thing he could do. He wrapped his arms around her and tucked her head protectively under his chin and he caressed her back soothingly.

She clung to him, her tears burning through his shirt as the emotional tool of everything she had been going through for the last three and a half months finally caught up with her.

"It's going to be all right baby." He murmured quietly. "Please, don't cry Jacks. I hate it when you cry."

The kitchen door opened and Eric stared at them, confusion written all over his face. For a minute he wanted to rush over there and find out what the hell was going on. But then he looked at his oldest friend's face and show something that he hadn't in a long time.

_The real Hyde._

So instead of busting up whatever was going on, he quietly slipped out of the kitchen before anyone saw him and headed back up to his room.


	11. Chapter 11

_**March 28, 1981- 1:30 pm**_

_**Halvertson's Department Store**_

Hell was not a fiery pit of despair and doom located in most people's deepest fears and rooted in their worst nightmares. It was not the punishment you received on death if you were a "bad person" or some intangible place threatened with as society tried to keep you in line and force you to conform to it's standards. Nor was it the seemingly idle threat that churches threw out, trying to foster a community of narrow minded, unenlightened zombies. Hyde now knew the ugly, hideous truth about Hades. All he had to do was look around him at that moment to realize that hell was there right now, engulfing him.

Angry ice blue eyes flitted to the mirror area and narrowed. A vision of Jackie in that damn wedding dress from years ago appeared before it. She was laughing, twirling so the dress flared out around her petite frame. The spinning stopped abruptly and suddenly mismatched eyes locked on his. Suddenly, she was no longer the Jackie of years ago but the Jackie she had become before this past New Years eve.

Her ponytail was no longer fancy but messy and dull. Those incredible eyes were dilated by whatever drug she was on. The smiled adorning her face was unnatural, forced and wobbled. Porcelain skin was paler than usual and lacked the much talked about luster. That dress hug weakly off her even thinner frame, dwarfing the small girl.

_"Still think I'm beautiful Steven?" _

He struggled to find a reply. To say something that wouldn't send her off the proverbial edge. But he couldn't come up with anything. Because at that moment, she wasn't beautiful. She was ruined and it was his fault.

"You know Eric, I still say you should pick these sweet powder blue ones." Kelso's irritating voice interrupted his unwanted thoughts, snapping him out of it, as the idiot's eyes swept adoringly over the terrible, disco approved number on the rack next to them.

"I don't see that happening buddy." Forman rolled his eyes. "I'd prefer my bride not killing me for looking like a dill hole on what's supposed to be the best day of our lives."

"Oh Eric," Fez began but choked up for the millionth time since they got there. He bit down on his trembling lip and wiped at his misty eyes.

"Come On," There was a hitch in Forman's voice. "I thought we agreed that you wouldn't get all emotional until tomorrow."

"I can't help it. It's just so beautiful…" The foreigner placed a hand over his heart and smiled tremulously.

Hyde groaned, shaking his head slightly. All he wanted was to be someplace else, doing anything but looking through rack after rack of ridiculous monkey suits with the moron twins and Forman. There was no way this could get any worse.

"Well hello, people with my least favorite tenant." Fenton leered at three of them but when his gaze settled on the foreign kid, it turned into disgust. "Fez."

"Fenton." Fez greeted coldly. "Come to steal what should rightfully be mine again?"

"If by what should be yours you mean what should be mine then yes, yes I am."

Kelso chuckled, "All right! Another Fez vs. Fenton battle. The only way that this could be better is if they were robots."

"Seriously?" Forman made one of those infamous twitchy gestures he was so proud. "Are you two actually going to have another kindergarten level insult-fest?"

"Yes!" Both questionable sexual orientation parties shouted in unison.

Hyde didn't want to stick around for this latest bout of craziness. If you saw it once then there was really no reason to see it again. The damn argument, which he was starting to suspect was really something else entirely, always returned to some stupid pair of pants. He grabbed the first semi-decent looking tux he saw and headed into the dressing room. At least it would give him a temporary reprieve from the impending bitch-fest about to take center stage.

Once in there, he sank down on the bench and let his head fall back against the wall. Behind his trademark sunglasses, his eyes closed. He was exhausted and sore. His head was killing him. That damn broken hand that didn't seem capable of healing throbbed painfully. And his stomach churned nauseously, threatening to empty itself without much provocation.

Despite being completely wasted last night, he didn't get to enjoy his usual passing out and not waking up until late in the afternoon. That whole, uncomfortable situation with Jackie just wouldn't stop gnawing at him. He laid on the cot for hours, his mind swirling with thoughts he didn't want or need. He had tossed and turned, trying in vain to make himself forget about her breakdown. Tried to ignore the guilt and pain that cut vicious paths through him. Finally he fell asleep but was only out for about two hours before Forman was in his room waking him up to go on this inane shopping trip.

It had been disastrous from the start. Red had refused to come along which led to Kitty yelling at him and then turning her hostility on them for twenty minutes. Kelso had been glaring at him all damn day. Then Fez started getting all hormonal and weepy. Forman was way too damn twitchy and high-strung. And those were actually the high points of the day.

The low ones, weren't worth mentioning. Ever. Not even if the government took him hostage, tortured him and threatened to insert a chip into him so they could track him. No one would believe him anyway. After all, they were by all appearances a good of tight friends and tight friends didn't act the way they did toward each other.

They didn't fight. Didn't use the knowledge of their deepest regrets as blackmail. Could never say the things that would hurt each other most. There were no mentions of the world being better off if one of them was dead. No pointed accusations about intentions and bitter objections to one of them trying to help someone else in the group.

But all that served to reinforce what he had come to realize. Something he had tried in vain to ignore over the last few years. They weren't the friends they once were. That his actions had left an irreparable tear in the group. There were sides and he was the bitter, disaster of an island caught between those sides just waiting for one to win and sink him.

All he wanted to do was say the hell with it. To stop pretending, go home and get some damn sleep. But unfortunately, that wasn't an option that was in his possession. As best man in this whole ludicrous farce, he had no choice but to be trapped at that damn store. Either until Forman miraculously found something that wouldn't result in him getting his ass kicked by Donna or one of the moron's got them kicked out of the store.

Whichever one came first.

Just as that thought escaped him, someone was knocking on the dressing room door. He sighed and shoved a hand through his unruly hair, grimacing. "Yeah."

"Any luck with that tux?" Eric's voice sounded tighter than normal.

"Uh, not really." Hyde threw the lie out tiredly.

"Well you might want to hurry up in there. We have to go."

"Oh yeah? Why's that?"

There was an audible but defeated chuckle, "Because the idiot duo got themselves hauled off to the wonderful point place police station. Guess they didn't realize that it was against he law to get into a really ridiculous slap fight with the creepy, disturbing lord of your land."

"Typical." He snorted as he came out of the room, rolling his eyes behind his trademark sunglasses. "You bailing them out?"

"Nope." Forman shrugged. "I figured that blowing some of our wedding money on getting the nitwit twins out of jail would only piss Donna off and I'd rather my wedding night not be celebrated with my latest sentence of celibacy."

"Yeah man, you're probably right." The words were said with no real interest. "So does this mean we're done tux shopping?"

"Once again, I'm not getting cut off on my wedding night and us wearing jeans and t-shirt's would guarantee that the only action I got would be with Mary Palmer and her five sisters." Forman's heaved a sigh then shuddered. "That mean's that this mission falls to us. We must find tuxes that will not piss off my future wife."

"Uh…"

"Oh come on! It'll be just like the time Luke and Han took out some storm trooper and stole their uniforms to save Leia!"

Hyde glared at him, "You know what else might help you avoid being celibate once you get married?"

"What?"

"Not relating every moment in your life to some stupid ass moment from Star Wars."

Forman stopped, looking at him like he was crazy. "That was not a stupid ass moment! It was such an awesome moment. If they never did that then no one would have known how to destroy the death star! And then were would the Jedi be? Hiding out and living in fear of the evil empire…"

"Enough Erica." He groaned at the other man's pathetic ramblings. "Your whining is making the pounding in my head worse. So unless you want me to pound you so you can understand what that pain is like, I suggest you shut your pie-hole."

"Huh," Eric looked at him for a moment then averted his gaze, nodding slightly. "Yeah, you must have had a long night."

There was something about his oldest friend's tone that set him instantly on edge. Because he knew that tone all too well and he didn't like it one bit. "What do you mean by that?"

"Nothing man, just that you were out late."

"Uh-huh."

"And then there's Jackie,"

He held up a hand to silence whatever Forman had been about to say. "We're not talking about Jackie. Last time we did, I punched you and ended up being coerced into being your best man. Let's not see what happens this time."

Ignoring the implied threat, Eric pushed on. "I saw what happened in the kitchen."

"Oh yeah?" His words were a practiced, perfectly zen monotone. "What did you see?"

"Two people who need each other, Who when they don't have one another to turn to would drown under the weight of the world and their own pain." He threw out easily. "Yes those two people screw up and hurt each but it's nothing compared to the hurt they inflict on themselves when they're apart."

Hyde didn't want to admit how close the other man had come to hitting the mark so instead he folded his arms over his chest and just stared at his twitchy friend until he was calm enough to throw out one of his patented, fool-proof denials. "You know Forman, you should get your eyes checked. Because what you saw and what was actually happening were two different things."

"Oh really? So then why were your hugging your ex and rubbing her back?"

"She was crying man." He huffed, "It was nothing to get your panties in a twist about. I mean, you know how much I hate it when chicks cry."

"No, I don't." Forman said flatly. "All I know is how you hate it when Jackie cries. How you just can't refuse her when she needs you. That you've always been really protective of her. And that you'd go out of your way to do something to cheer her up, even if it's something you really don't want to do."

"The point?"

"Just that when I walked into the kitchen and noticed what was transpiring, I saw something that I haven't seen since before I left for Africa."

"And what was that?"

"My best friend. Hyde. The real one." Eric said informed him in a no nonsense tone as said friend was about to cut him off with some lame protest. "The guy who until very recently seemed to be someone else entirely. Like an evil pod person or even worse than that, Bud."

That hit him, hard and fast. He'd spent months rationalizing why he let Sam stay. Why it was better that he didn't tell her to take a hike so he could try to repair things with Jackie. Then when that twisted abomination ended, he spent the last two years telling himself that Jackie was better off without him. It was all because he was trying his hardest not to be like Bud, the poor excuse for a father figure that had scarred the first nine years of his life before walking out of it.

But for the first time since he came back from Vegas, he knew that he had been acting like Bud. Drinking until he passed out somewhere. Staying in a loveless, shame of a marriage because it was easier. Hurting the person he loved because he was pissed at himself. Lashing out at his friends, pushing them away. Even distancing himself from the Forman's and WB so he wouldn't have to accept the fact that he was turning into the person he swore he'd never become.

"It's not too late." Forman's voice informed him gently. "You can't change what happened but you can make sure that you don't repeat those mistakes, that you let go of whatever it was that stopped you from doing the right thing and do it now."

It sounded so easy.

On the surface at least.

All he had to do was stop pushing her away. Let her into his rooted heart and just be happy with her. Make up for how shitty he had treated her in the past. Atone for how badly he hurt her and kept on hurting her. Apologize for not giving her what she wanted back then and do his best to give it to her now without the fear and hesitation that had destroyed them before.

There was of course one problem.

A really huge problem.

The girl he was thinking about building a future had no idea of the past they shared. The amnesia had spared her the grisly details. She had no idea how badly he hurt her. No recollection of the years of verbal abuse he lobbed at her or of the dirty things he did to make sure that she would remain alone. There was no knowledge of how she felt about him or how his inattention and scorn were directly responsible for the downward spiral that had almost taken her life.

And he couldn't tell her, not today or tomorrow or the next day. Not only because of the doctor's wishes but also because he was too ashamed to. Completely rattled by the notion of telling a ninety-five pound girl the truth. The fact that he was unable to fill her in on it opened up a frightening can of worms that haunted his thoughts now and caused him to swallow thickly.

What happened if they started building something and her memory came back?

Could either one of them handle losing each other again?


	12. Chapter 12

Author's Note: Not sure if anyone's still wth me but I do apologive for taking so long with this update. Real Life was kind of a bitch for a while and I didn't feel like writing because of it.

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**Forman Basement**

**_March 28, 1981 11:30pm_**

The beer can pyramid was growing, a sad homage to the only constant in his life these days. His slightly clumsy hand placed another empty can on to the pile and he sat back with a sigh, running his hand over his face. He wished he was drunk enough that it numbed his brain. But he wasn't that lucky. The damn thing taunted him, replaying the scene him and foreman walked in on over and over.

_Jackie's smiling face as she twirled in her new burgundy bridesmaid gown. The halter top of the dress hugging her curves almost sinfully, as if Satan himself designed the dress, accentuating her small but perfect breasts tauntingly. Showing off her flat, tight stomach. Her raven hair flying around her as the action exposed delicate olive tinted shoulders and her graceful back. The skirt flying around, giving a glimpse of toned, strong legs and soft, amazingly incredible thighs…_

He shook his head, trying to dislodge the unwanted image. But it stubbornly refused to go away. Mocking him almost cruelly. Reminding him of what he had given up. Thrown away for a whorey stripper who meant nothing to him.

If he wasn't so pissed, he'd appreciate the burn.

Footsteps sounded on the stairs and he groaned, opening his beer and taking a long gulp. He really wasn't in the mood for company, especially if it was Forman needing to have a talk about feelings or having cold feet. "Go away man, whatever it is, I don't want to hear it."

But the person who sat down on the couch wasn't the twitchy kid who was like an annoying, girly brother to him. It was a girl he once thought of like a sister. Someone he had thought he had a crush on. The girl who had always had his back, until his callous actions ripped apart the group. Sent it careening over the edge and left it a shattered, twisted mess that didn't seem repairable.

Donna took a deep breath and stared straight ahead at the pyramid, the air heavy with tension and almost suffocating. A million different emotions passed over her face in a second but it settled on an all too familiar one before she finally settled her annoyed gaze on his smirking face. "I'm not going to have this wedding ruined. Already suffered through the pain of having one crash and burn. I won't let it happen again."

"Then you better borrow Fez's handcuffs to keep Forman from running." He intoned sagely, crossing his arms over his chest and letting the Zen wash over him.

"You know that's not what I'm talking about." She stared at him, hard, as if she was trying to get inside his head and see what was going on. "I owe it to Jackie to protect her. When Sam showed up, I failed to do it and hurt her a lot. And I stood by and laughed when you viciously burned her time and time again. Our friendship was almost ruined because of it."

A grunt tumbled out of his mouth but he said nothing, wanting to see where she was going with this little stroll down memory lane.

"It took a lot of time and talking to get it back on track." Her gaze was piercing, "But it was before this happened and I was happy about that even if I wished I could talk to her and make her stop doing the things she was doing."

"Why didn't you?"

"I'd try but she'd tell me that it was nothing to worry about. That she had it under control and I was just overreacting. And I wanted to believe her because it was easier than accepting the fact that she was still hurting but didn't feel like she could come to me about it. That there'd always be this wedge between us…"

"A wedge?" He leaned forward in his chair, trying not to look disinterested and aloof but knowing that he was failing. "What wedge?"

"You." Her voice trembled slightly and her eyes left his face, focusing once again on the beer can statue. "Because we were friends. As long as you were going out of your way to burn her, to hurt her, she couldn't come to me for help because she didn't want to give you any more ammunition against her."

"This sounds familiar." It came out harshly and his finger tapped wildly against his bicep, the rhythm becoming firmer as his foot joined in. "Didn't we already do the blame me for everything conversation?"

"I'm not blaming you. Not anymore, well not for this at least." She heaved a sigh and shook her head sadly. "Because you didn't know. We kept it from you but we were wrong. You should have known. Maybe if you did, we could have confronted her as a group and she would have listened to us."

His eyes blinked rapidly behind his trademark sunglasses, shock coursing through his veins at her words. This was not what he was expecting. Not at all. And it threw him and his patented stoicism to the side. "What?"

"Since Jackie's avoided me since she came back from the facility, I've been hurting and jealous. Because she gravitated toward you like she always does and didn't seem like she needed me. So I've had a lot of time to think and realized that I've been angry at you for something that wasn't your fault." Donna let out a sad chuckle. "The fact that I've been a lousy friend to her."

"Uh, ok." The words were slow, cautious as he waited for the mood to change and have her suddenly revert back to bitchiness and blame him for that.

"I mean, I ignored what she was going through, what she was doing. Pushed her off on Randy. Pretended that he was the cure all for her problems and kept encouraging her to go out with him even though I knew that she didn't like him. Couldn't like him because no matter what, she still loved you."

There was no hostility in her voice. No implied accusation. Nothing other than acceptance and regret. But it still bothered him. Made his temper flare and he whipped his sunglasses off her, fixing his iciest glare on her. "She doesn't…"

"She does." Her words were flat and confident. "Even without remembering that she did, without knowing what it is right now, she still loves you."

"No."

"Yes she does Hyde." The tone got stronger. "You were all she talked about today, all she thought of. And then the look on her face when you guys came in and she realized that you were staring at her, watching her spin around in that dress."

His Adam's apple was working overtime, trying to swallow down the stupid, insane, irrational ball of hope that had started to grow. But the damn thing was stubborn. It wouldn't be pushed back down where it belonged in some dark, rarely visited part of his rotted core. Refused to give in to logic, ignored the Zen command to go away. Wouldn't be beaten back into submission like he had done so many times before where Jackie was concerned.

As his oldest female friend looked at him, she gave a small smile of tolerance. "And I know that deep down, you still love her."

"I never loved her."

The all too familiar words were supposed to be vehement, cold and sharp like they usually were when he said them. Like they had been when he spat them at Jackie after she wrote him a letter telling him that she'd forgive him for marrying Sam. That they could still be together if he finally chose her. It almost made him want to do it. But then he had looked at her and saw nothing but Kelso in a towel and he had to hurt her, to make her feel just a fraction of the pain and loathing he did.

But not this time. The zen failed him. When they tumbled automatically from him, the words were completely unconvincing. No fire or passion behind the usual response. They cracked and coming out pathetic, broken and incredibly damn weak with a slightly pained edge to them.

"You do." Her voice brimmed with conviction. "Even though you don't want to. Despite the fact that you've spent the better part of two years pushing her away. Telling yourself that you hated her. That she's nothing more than a bitchy mistake you made."

"What makes you think that?" There was no real interest in his question because he knew no matter what, she was going to tell him anyway.

"Because after everything that happened, all the hurt, destruction and pain, you're still there for her. You still stare her when she's not looking. Still get that smile when she burns someone or does something you weren't expecting her to."

Damn Donna for being observant. He wanted to lash out, deny it, point the blame on drugs or alcohol. But he couldn't. Because that damn hope was winning and he wondered, if maybe he hadn't ruined everything for good after all. His mouth opened and all that came out was a thoughtful, "huh."

"It pissed me off but I've come to terms with the fact that you're inevitably going to end up back together."

He raised an eyebrow at her, speechless.

"But here's the thing," A deep breath was expelled roughly, "you need to tell her what happened between the two of you. And I mean everything, no matter how ugly it is. Before she remembers it on her own and it crushes her again."

His eyes shifted to his hands and he stared at them because he couldn't look at her anymore.

Not when she was right.

The only problem was, he couldn't do it. He wasn't that guy. The one who was capable of telling their long, complicated story to Jackie and not getting angry over it again. Of saying the things she'd need to hear after the sick, sad tale was revealed and she was heartbroken once more because of him. Who would comfort her and could promise it wouldn't happen again with certainty.

Even though he was suddenly wishing he was.

He could feel Donna's knowing gaze on him and he drew in a deep, tumultuous breath before speaking to try an buy himself some time. "You said you don't want this wedding to be ruined. But if I tell Jackie the truth…"

There was no need to finish that sentence. They both knew what would happen if the petite brunette was given the facts. She'd be completely devastated. Tears and anger would take precedence over everything else once the horrible secrets were revealed. Gone would be her desire to be the maid of honor since she wouldn't want to be around any of them.

She wouldn't want to stay at the Forman's anymore. All she'd want was to be as far away from them as she could and go home. Whether it was back to that depressing bedroom at Fez's house or the empty, cold mansion she had been raised in. Once there, who knows what she'd do. If she'd decide to try an numb herself with whatever pills she could get her hands on.

And if that happened, there wouldn't be a second chance at life for her this time.

Donna heaved a sigh and shook her head sadly, "I know that once she knows, nothing will be the same. That life's going to get hard and it's going to hurt. We could even lose her. But she needs to know and it's best that she hears it from you, rather than Kelso spilling the news to get back at you."

"I know." It was true. He had enough forced heart to hearts with Forman and Kitty lately that it made him realize that if there was any chance for them, no matter how small of a chance, that he'd have to tell her the whole truth. Sooner or later. True to form, he was just hoping for the later. Much, much later. "Can I tell her after the wedding?"

"Why?"

"Because if it goes the way I know it will, Jackie's going to need at least one happy memory to remember. One reason to possibly forgive." He blew out a shaky breath. "And I owe her that much after last time."

"Fine., I'll agree to that." The former redhead agreed but turned a hard, probing gaze on him and her eyes narrowed. "But you better tell her Hyde or so help me god, I'll beat the crap out of you this time."

"I will."

She leaned over and hugged him, "I'm sorry for being a bitch to you. I was just…"

"It's ok." He assured her as he pulled away and slipped his glasses back on. "I deserved it."


	13. Chapter 13

**A.N: **This part is a bit on the short side but it's a transitional scene before we get into some of the more interesting chapters. Hope you enjoy.

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****March 29th****, 1981 **

_The waiting room of Dr. Hall_

The place was supposed to look comfortable and warm. Inviting, overstuffed couches and chairs lined the room, There were bright, colorful albeit abstract paintings on the wall. An older, smiling secretary sat behind a dark wooden desk that had a bowl of mints on top of it. Thick, brown carpet covered the typical, generic, white tiled floor. An array of magazines sat on the dark wooden tables.

Picture perfect.

Exactly like one of the pictures in the magazines on the tables.

But it wasn't comfortable or warm. No amount of decorating expertise could hide the fact that this place was part of an institution. The place where some know it all doctor sat and judged you. Took the lows and highs of your life and twisted them into a disturbing, bleak portrait of failure. Pointed out your mistakes and made you feel even worse than you did before you were forced to come here.

And they were forced. Her by her inability to remember her life and him by the strong desire not to let anyone hurt her anymore.

Hyde heaved a sigh and turned to his companion, raising an eyebrow at the fact that she was biting her nails. "Donna's going to be pissed if you show up to her wedding with bloody stumps."

Jackie's hand fell away from her mouth and she leaned back with a sigh, "Oh please, like that lumberjack knows the first thing about nails. If she did, she'd go get a manicure to remove those giant dead cuticles that surround hers."

There was his girl, burning their less than girly neighbor without hesitation or remorse. But the fact that her face was still tense, marred his satisfaction. "Nervous?"

"I-I," She shook her head, lips in a flat line. "I don't know why we couldn't have postponed my appointment until after the wedding instead of making me come the day before it. I would rather not spend the day before Donna's big day being berated because I lost my memory."

He agreed with her but when Kitty had tried to reschedule, the smiling secretary said this was his only available opening. While he was sure it was bullshit, it meant they had no choice but to suffer through this. "Yeah, well, if this guy's smart then he'll keep the berating to a minimum while I'm here."

"He's not going to like that you are."

"I don't give a damn what he likes."

She flicked her hair over her shoulder and tried to smile but it wobbled slightly. "Just promise me that if I scream, you'll come and get me out."

"Now why would you scream, Miss Burkhart?" A cool, detached, clinical voice broke interrupted their conversation.

His eyes traveled over the doctor and a smirk tugged at his lips. The guy was in his early thirties at least. Short and thin. Long dark brown hair beginning to recede and thin, showing off a prominent forehead. It sloped down into small gray eyes covered with thick glasses that were anchored on a pale, birdlike face that had done battle with acne over the years, the scars still visible.

It cleared up the reason this guy was so nasty to Jackie. He was a geek and most likely got shot down by beautiful girls like her all throughout high school. Probably had been shoved into lockers by jocks just for looking at girls like her. The rejection and humiliation made him lash out at vulnerable patients.

"Doctor Hall." Jackie's greeting was short, unenthusiastic.

"You never answered my question Miss Burkhart." The smile that the doctor gave was creepy and completely fake. "Why would a session with me result with you screaming?"

She avoided her eyes, "In case…it's unpleasant."

"Well sometimes getting to the root of one's issues is unpleasant. The strong become stronger for it. While the weak," He paused, his expression turning condescending as he stared at her, "crumble and curl into balls."

Hyde had enough of this guy already and cleared his throat pointedly. He kept his best Zen face on as the quack looked at him.

The shrink's expression changed, speculation lighting his face. "And who would you be?"

"That's Hyde." Her answer was once again brusque, as if she didn't want to be questioned any further.

"Hyde?" Dr. Hall repeated meaningfully. "Are you a friend of Miss Burkhart's, Mr. Hyde, or are you employed by her family? A chauffeur maybe?"

Inwardly, he was bristling but outwardly, he portrayed nothing but aloofness and ice, not wanting to betray anything the shrink could use against him or Jackie.

The doctor squinted slightly, "Your name sounds familiar to me Mr. Hyde."

"He lives with the Forman's." Once again, Jackie's answer was quick and concise and her mismatched gaze remained looked on the floor.

"Ah," Something about that admission made the doctor turn his attention back to Hyde with interest. "Would you mind if I spoke to you for a few moments before my meeting with Miss Burkhart?"

He didn't like the idea. Not at all. The feeling that this was the wrong thing to do was gnawing at him. But he wouldn't let this quack know that. Squaring his shoulders, he gave a disinterested shrug and dully followed behind the guy.

Dr. Hall took a seat on the only chair in the room and gestured to the couch, "Please, have a seat."

Perching on the arm of the couch, he crossed his arms over his chest, his face completely impassive and eyes shielded behind his trademark aviators. "What's this about?"

"You live with the Forman's?"

"Yup."

"And what exactly is your relationship to them?"

He smirked, "None of your business."

The doctor's gaze took on a knowing quality. "I understand why you feel that way. But given that my client shares an environment with you, it's important for me to ascertain exactly who she has direct contact with on a daily basis. I had a similar sit down with the Forman's and several of Miss Burkhart's friends when she was at the facility."

"Good to know."

"So you see my interest given that you weren't among them?"

Icy blue eyes rolled behind his shades, "Nope, can't say I do."

"Ok, let me be more direct." The older man stared hard at him. "During my conversations with the Forman's and a few of her friend's, I was told that Jackie started having difficulties after a particularly bad break up with her longtime boyfriend, Steven Hyde. Would I be correct in assuming that you're one in the same?"

Hyde always had very sharp instincts and he knew where this was heading. But he also knew that he couldn't stop it. This quack wouldn't allow him to ignore the question and if he walked out then the guy would just focus the attack on Jackie. "If I was?"

"Then I would wonder why someone who treated her in such a vicious manner would be involved in any aspect of her recovering when it could detrimental in the long run." There was nothing in the doctor's tone except clinical efficiency. "Wouldn't you, Mr. Hyde?"

"Can't say I would." He tapped his thumb against his bicep in a furious rhythm. "But then again, I'm not paid to sit on my ass, dig into people's private lives and judge them while acting superior."

"Ah, I see I've struck a nerve."

"Far from it." Another cold smirk tugged at his lips. "I'm just taking the direct approach in explaining why I wouldn't be interested."

"Mr. Hyde, I hope you understand that nothing good will come of your involvement with my client." There was a vehemence to the shrink's tone that really irked him. "If this is some attempt to alleviate any left over guilt or remorse about your treatment of Miss Burkhart then I would suggest waiting until she's recovered her memory to try and rectify the situation."

Hyde had enough of this guy, "I'll take that under advisement."

"See that you do." He intoned flatly. "I would also prefer for you to not accompany my client to her sessions."

"I bet you would." An eyebrow rose. "Since you get your kicks from berating and making her cry."

"I do no such thing…"

"Save it, I heard about her last session and how you've got several client complaints against you." The tapping of his thumb stopped as he rose to his feet. "If she comes out of this room and it even looks like she's been crying then the next conversation you and I have won't be as pleasant."

"Is that a threat Mr. Hyde?"

He took his glasses off and pinned the doctor with a steely glare. "Definitely not a threat."

The silence stretched on for a minute then Hyde smiled and walked out the door. He looked at Jackie, who seemed tense and gave her a reassuring grin. "You can go see the quack now."

"What did you talk about?" She asked nervously, eyes darting between the door he just exited and him.

"Nothing much." He made a shooing motion with his hand. "Go on, we need to get this over with. Got a rehearsal dinner to go to tonight."

"Yeah, you're right." She took a few steps toward the office and paused, looking back at him over her shoulder. Those mismatched eyes studied him intently, "He was alright with you being here?"

A rueful smirk broke across his lips, "I let him know that it didn't matter if he was alright with it or not. That I was here and not going anywhere. So he'll be on his best behavior."

Jackie smiled back and the earnest sincerity of it twisted in his gut as he watched her walk into the office and the door close. No matter how bitchy and pushy she could be; there was always something innocent and sweet about her.

Something fragile and breakable.

Which made him feel worse about the inevitable conversation they were going to have to have. Because once he told her the truth, there was a good chance that she would shatter once and for all. That the pieces would finally be too small to put back together. Or worse, if she decided that they weren't worth putting back together. And if that happened then the girl he had known and hated, loved and lost too many times to count wouldn't exist anymore.

That would hurt. More than when she broke up with him when he cheated with the nurse. Worse than Chicago had. Way more than when his trashy Vegas mistake showed up on his doorstep. Or when her real husband showed up and he figured out that he had thrown away his life with Jackie for nothing more than a lie and a few months of stripper sex.

And watching her think that Fez was the one she was supposed to be with would be nothing compared to the pain if she walked away from him for good once she knew their whole complicated history.

That pain, he knew, would be the worst of all. Because no matter what happened before, she was always still in his life. Always hanging around even when he didn't want her to. But a life without her would be torture. Slow, methodical, systematic torture that would leave him wishing for death.


	14. Chapter 14

Been a long time. I'm sure no one is even reading this anymore. I've had this chapter sitting on my hard drive for a couple of years. I was never happy with it. Still don't like it but I've gotten a few pm's asking if there was anymore to the story. So here you go...

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**March 29th, 1981**

_**Forman's Basement 12:45 pm, 6Hrs AND 15Mins before the rehearsal dinner**_

Hyde's fingers beat a steady rhythm against his arm, aggravation coursing through his veins. Behind his sunglasses, his eyes were narrowed and locked menacingly on Kelso. His lips were locked together, suppressing the obscenities and vicious burns that were begging to be hurled at the moron like grenades. But he refrained, knowing that the idiot would only use anything he said against him.

Of course, he could always break the intelligence-challenged man's jaw…

"I know you don't remember but I've always thought you were hot." Kelso stated with a lecherous waggle of his eyebrows, taking her hand in his. He was not deterred when she wrenched it free of his grasp and shoved it in the pocket of her jeans. "And as you can see, I'm hot. Two hot people should be together. No better time to be hot together than our friends getting hitched."

The urge to throw up was strong. Burn his gut and throat strong. Somehow he managed to stay in his smoldering silence and not wretch as he waited for the reaction of his former girlfriend to the king of all idiots out of the blue suggestion of them rekindling their relationship. He should have seen this coming. Wouldn't be the first time Kelso implored it. But somehow, he had forgotten that the idiot wouldn't let a little thing like amnesia keep him from hitting on Jackie.

Apparently, he wasn't the only one caught off guard by Kelso deciding to do this now. Everyone was staring at the tall lanky dolt in a mixture of surprise and horror. It seems they figured that he'd back off. That he would not go the same old played out battle until she was better. But they were all wrong because the Idiot King was determined to make sure that his ex-girlfriend never got near Hyde again, memory or no memory.

Jackie eyes were wide with disbelief, darting around the room. It was obvious that she was searching for someone or something to save her from this awkward proposition. But no help was forthcoming. Her lips parted but closed again quickly as she either changed her mind about what she was going to say or didn't have a response.

Hyde's lips quirked slightly as those mismatched eyes slid to him and he saw the panic in them dim slightly. It was replaced by some unreadable emotion but it seemed to give her strength. He watched as she took a deep breath and broke their gaze, turning her attention back to Don Juan El Tardo.

"Kelso," She started slowly, faux sweetness infused in his name, "I think you're offer is very sweet. Really, it is. But I…"

Realizing that she was about to turn him down, the tall doofus tried one last desperate ploy to get the amnesiac girl to accept his offer. "Just think of how much fun we could have doing it in the coat room!"

"KELSO!" Donna was seething, her face flushed angrily.

"Sexy." Fez gave a perverted little grin and popped a Butterfinger into his mouth, obviously enjoying the show.

"I'm going to get the stupid helmet. Something tells me that there's going to be a head injury involved in this situation soon." Eric rolled his eyes, leaving his usual spot on the couch to retrieve the infamous helmet. "Now you can proceed."

"Thanks man, you're a good friend." The declaration was sincere as Kelso took the helmet and put it on, a bright smile of stupidity twisting his lips. "Ok, so where was I? Oh yeah. It would be so awesome to do it in the coat room."

"Sorry, Kelso, but I'm…" Jackie faltered for a second, reeling in a deep breath as her eyes once again locked on him. "I-I already have a date for the wedding."

"You do?" Four voices echoed in unnerving unison, shock dripping from them.

Hyde remained silent but that steely gaze narrowed further. He leaned forward in his chair slightly. The hand that had been tapping now curled into a white-knuckled fist in anticipation of hearing the name of the poor bastard who would have to have a conversation with him. Because there was no way in hell he was going to allow some creep to take advantage of the fact that she had no memory.

"How? I mean…" Kelso trailed off helplessly. "They can't be as hot as I am. No way."

Donna pushed the idiot out of the way so she could pin a speculative, probing gaze on the petite brunette. "Did you get back together with Randy?"

"God no." A visible look of nausea shone on the amnesiac's face at the notion of being linked with her former fling again. "Haven't talked to him since his tearful plea not to dump him. Seriously, what kind of man cries because you told him you don't have the same admiration for his hair that he does?"

The two former best friends stared at each other for a long moment before the question wobbled anxiously from the blonde's mouth, "Who?"

"Hyde." Jackie's voice was strong as she turned her attention to him, her eyes pleading with him to be her white knight and save her from this awkward situation.

Déjà vu was laughing at his back. The memory of him taking her to the prom smacking him in the face. That night, she had used him to save herself from being humiliated and to make Kelso jealous. Here they were all these years later and she was asking him for permission to use him again. But this time it wasn't to make the moron jealous, it was to keep him away from her.

Kelso gave a indignant cry, folding his arms over his chest. "Hyde? You've got to be kidding. He's nothing but a jerk!"

"Oh, this isn't going to go well." Eric murmured, taking several steps to place himself inconspicuously between Kelso and Hyde.

Fez whimpered and grabbed the bag of candy he had been munching on, backing out of the way of the impending fracas.

"You're going to the wedding with Hyde?" Donna questioned slowly. Her face reflecting her confusion at the statement. "Like you're the maid of honor and he's the best man going together?"

"No," the huffed retort was vintage Jackie, "We talked about it and decided we'd hang out there, you know, together."

Another deafening cry of outrage burst from Kelso. "When did that happen?"

"This morning." Hyde broke his silence for the first time since this debacle had started, rescuing her from anymore scrutiny. His patented bad ass body language basically daring someone to take issue with it. He got to his feet and took his sunglasses off, hitching them onto the front of his t-shirt. Cold blue eyes landed on the angry brown glare of Kelso, unwavering and stared hard into them. "That a problem?"

"Yeah, it is."

Forman sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Do we really have to do this again?"

"Ai, it's like watching a car accident happen. You know the outcome but you just can't look away." Fez intoned in an overly loud whisper. "Donna will not be happy with the black eyes and bloody scabs in her pictures."

"There won't be any black eyes or bloody scabs!" The tall girl passionately informed everyone, positioning herself between the glaring guys. "Because if someone tries to throw a punch, I'm going to punch them!"

"Why would there be a fight about this?" Jackie questioned, confusion painted on her face and heavy in her tone. "Who I go to the wedding with is my choice. So why would Kelso have a problem with me going to the wedding with Hyde?"

Hyde raised an eyebrow as he studied his former friend. The doofus looked conflicted. But then their eyes met and that confusion disappear. It was replaced by a cold, calculated look of steely determination. He knew in that instant what was about to happen. Kelso was going to spill the story. Sparing no cruel, twisted detail to ensure maximum damage would be done.

His breath hissed in over his lips and his eyes flew to the puzzled girl that would always be between them. Reaching out, he wrapped his hand around her upper arm and stepped in front of her. Trying to shield her from the vicious bombshell that was about to be lobbed at them. It wouldn't help. The impact would blow them both away but it was all he could do to protect her.

Donna could apparently sense the same thing. "Kelso, not now."

"Why not?" His question was coy, "Aren't weddings all about reminiscing? Nothing like a stroll down memory highway to make this occasion all the more special."

"It's memory lane you doofus." Hyde snarled, his temper dangerously flaring. "And you should be careful taking that stroll. Especially since your road isn't pot-hole free either."

A look of guilt quickly passed across Kelso's face but he shook it off, "So what?"

"So you should think long and hard about whether or not you want to get nostalgic right now." He tossed out as casually as he could, with a pointed look toward Jackie.

"I think this is the perfect time to get nostalgic." Kelso spat vehemently. The expression changed to uncertainty as he turned to Eric. "What does nostalgic mean?"

"It means that if you don't know what it means that you shouldn't do it." Forman answered with a shrug, obviously hoping that he could confuse Kelso off this path of destruction.

"The only thing that anyone is doing for the next two days is celebrating our happy occasion!" Donna informed Kelso heatedly, putting her hand on his shoulder and squeezing warningly. "As I already told Hyde, I will not have another wedding ruined."

"Ow," He freed himself of the hold, rubbing the sore spot, "But,"

"No buts." There was no room for argument in the former red-head's tone. "We're going to be happy damn it because weddings are a happy time! Now shut the hell up, go home, shower, change your clothes and make sure you're on time for the rehearsal! You better be smiling too! Because if anyone is late or decides not to show up, heads will roll!"

Everyone stared at the sudden change from rational, practical Donna to bride-to-be from hell. Wondering if the stress of their current circumstances or the memories of the ill fated first attempt at a wedding had finally made her snap.

Tapping her foot, she crossed her arms over her chest. "Did I stutter? Go!"

Kelso huffed but heeded her advice, stalking out of the room. Fez followed after him, practically running to be as far away from the angry amazon as he could be.

"I swear, if he messes up this wedding…"

Eric wrapped an arm around his fiancée, leading her up the stairs. "I don't think he will. You were pretty scary. Darth Vader level scary really."

Hyde felt the tension leave his body and shook his head with a bitter chuckle. He owed Donna, big time. While he was sure that some of what she said about the wedding was probably true, he knew that her reason for going against Kelso had to do with their previous conversation. She was trusting him to make good on his word and tell Jackie everything after the wedding. If he broke that trust, she would make him pay for it.

He turned to his unusually silent ex and gave her a tight smile. "Never a dull day around here."

"What was that all about?" Her inquiry was loaded, turbulent emotions swirling in those multi-colored orbs.

He could lie. Tell her he had no clue. But he didn't want to. This was one instance where he could give her a little truth. "Things have been strained between Kelso and I for years."

"Why?"

A rueful smile broke across his lips, "I stole his girlfriend."

Jackie blinked in surprise, apparently not expecting that answer. Her head tilted to the side as she studied him, long locks of raven hair falling over her shoulder. "You don't sound sorry about that."

"I'm not." A one-shouldered shrug followed that. "They didn't have a good relationship. He cheated on her constantly. But when it happened, he had taken off and went to California for the summer without telling her."

"Oh." Her voice was dismissive, not appalled by his admission. "Well, I don't see why he got mad. Even if they didn't really end things, he gave up the right to be angry if she moved on when he left town. I'm sure he wasn't turning down any beach bunny he encountered."

"Yeah, well, he didn't see it that way." Blue eyes rolled as his mind recalled some of Kelso's nastier attempts to break them up. "Went out of his way to make sure that her and I wouldn't last."

She brows knitted together, those all too observant eyes locked on his face, "So since I haven't seen a girlfriend around, I take it he succeeded."

Hyde took a deep breath and looked at her, regret painted on his face. "If you asked me this a year and a half ago, I would have said yes. But now I can admit the truth."

"What's the truth?"

"I didn't think I could give her what she wanted or what she deserved. Tried pushing her away but she was stubborn. Reeled me back in just for us to end up in the same place a few months later." He heaved a heavy, pained sigh. "So I did what I do best. Looked for an excuse to run and found one. Then I found a way to fuck it up beyond all repair."

Jackie swallowed thickly, pushing fallen strands of hair out of her face. "What did you do?"

"Went to Vegas. Binge drank for a month. Came back here to find out she wanted to work things out-"

"Then you couldn't have messed it up too badly." She interrupted with a roll of her eyes.

"Thought that too." He couldn't look at her anymore, suddenly fixing his ashamed gaze on the cement floor. "Until the doorbell rang and it was the stripper I had married in a drunken stupor in Vegas on the other side of it."

Her eyes widened and mouth hung open in shock.

"Oh but it gets even worse."

"I can't imagine how." She informed him honestly, looking completely blown away.

"See, my girl would have taken me back even after that. She loved me that much and was willing to fight for us. But I chose to stay with the stripper because it was easier. A couple of months later, the strippers real husband shows up looking for her."

"Oh my god."

"Yeah, I let my insecurities win and threw it all away for what essentially boils down to a few months of crappy stripper sex."

"Hyde, I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He hissed, the guilt making him feel like he was drowning.

"Well, I am." She said comfortingly. "You made mistakes but I'm sure you didn't mean to hurt her."

"I did."

"You say that…"

"Because it's the truth. I took all the anger I had and turned it on my ex. Making her life as much of a living hell as I could. I succeeded, she's miserable." He pinned a hard, self-hating gaze on her and felt that familiar knife slicing through his gut sensation. "Guess you can see why Kelso and I no longer pretend to be friends and why he doesn't want me anywhere near you."


	15. Chapter 15

**March 29th, 1981**

**_Pinciotti Living Room, wedding rehearsal_**

Hyde pulled at the collar of his shirt. No matter how many times he wore a dress shirt, he was never comfortable with it. It screamed sell out. The neck always felt like it was choking him. Unfortunately he had no choice but to wear the uncomfortable piece of clothing. If he had tried to show up to the rehearsal in his usual jeans and t-shirt, the over-stressed bride to be would have killed him.

"You shouldn't pull on it like that." Jackie informed him quietly, the first few words she'd spoken to him since his confession earlier. "Cotton doesn't rebound."

His hand froze, eyes swinging to her. She'd told him that before. When they had attended the career fair at their high school. The all too familiar stab of pain twisted in his chest, a permanent reminder of what he'd thrown away. Nodding, he dropped his hand and averted his gaze.

"Relax, this is only a run through." She tossed her hair over her shoulder and adjusted the off the shoulder neckline of deep red dress she bought for this occasion.

Hyde gave a brief nod, trying to resist the urge to stare at her. It was hard. Really hard. She was hot on an average day in jeans and a blouse. But there was just something about Jackie in a slinky red dress that made him…

"Where the hell are Kelso and Fez?" Eric's panicked hiss, snapped him out of his thoughts.

"No clue man." He gave himself a mental shake and clapped his twitchy friend on the back, chuckling slightly. "But hey, at least you showed up this time."

Jackie turned toward Eric, an eyebrow raised, "You didn't show up to your first wedding rehearsal? That's why the wedding never happened?"

"Um, yeah…"

"You're lucky Donna is very forgiving." The haughty tone was classic and as her eyes appraised the groom to be, she gave a familiar scoff. "If that happened to me, I would have made the moron sorry that he was ever born."

Forman opened his mouth. His intention was probably delivering a burn but it never came. Instead, his face flushed and he took a deep breath, "You're right. I am lucky."

"What's going on?" Donna's voice, never soft, interrupt their huddled discussion. They all jumped slightly and swung their gaze to her. "Ok, I see Eric. So I know that this time, no one's hiding the fact that my groom is missing in action."

"Donna!" Jackie smiled, walking over to the taller woman. "You're wearing a dress! I'm so relieved. I was afraid that you'd be walking down the aisle in a flannel shirt and corduroys."

A grin tugged at his Hyde's lips. He knew what his ex was doing. This wasn't her usual commentary of Donna's fashion crimes. She was distracting her friend before the blonde realized that the moron twins were no where to be found.

"I've worn dresses before." The protest was defensive.

"Not that I can remember and then when you were having your dress fitted, you kicked me out of the room."

"Because I don't want anyone to see it after what happened to my first wedding dress."

Hyde stifled a laugh as he remembered the destroyed dress. His eyes drifted to Forman, who had gone pale at the mention of his first wedding transgression. The nervous kid gulped several times and raised his hands, about to make this situation worse by saying something that he thought was witty. Acting quickly, he clamped his hand over Forman's mouth and dragged him into the kitchen and away from the girls. "Man, you must like pissed off Donna because you were going to undo all Jackie's hard work."

Releasing the twitchy kid suddenly, he stepped away and wiped his hand on his pants, lips twisted in disgust. "Did you just lick me?"

"No!" The vehement cry was punctuated with one of those hand gestures Eric was so proud of. He looked down before adding, "At least, not on purpose. I was trying to lick my lips."

"Whatever man." He pushed open the back door and reached into his pocket, drawing out his pack of cigarettes. Lighting one up, he took a deep drag and felt the tension lessen in his body. "So you haven't had a panic attack yet…"

"I'm ok." There was surprising conviction in Eric's voice. "It's different this time."

"Yeah?"

"I have a decent job, we found an apartment." He smirked, "An actual apartment this time, not one that will roll away if the wind is blowing too hard."

Silence lapsed over the guys as the reality of the situation settled in on them. This was real. Things were changing. There wouldn't be anymore late night/early morning circles that inevitably lead to those stupid in-depth conversations. No more blaming each other when something happened at the house.

No one to help him from screwing things up even more than he already had.

"Eric! Hyde!" Donna yelled, "Pastor Dave's here! Move your asses!"

Hyde flicked his smoke away and slipped his sunglasses on. "Sure you don't want to run? Back door's right there. I'll create a diversion to give you time…"

"No, I'm good." Forman smiled. "But thanks for the offer. You're a good friend."

A chuckle slipped from him as he followed his best friend into the living room. There was still no Fez or Kelso. Donna was angry but determined not to let the moron twins ruin anything for her. She stated emphatically that the rehearsal was going on as scheduled, no delays. Given the fact that she had been on edge for the last day, they all agreed that they'd do whatever she wanted.

He listened as Dave gushed about how happy he was to be the one performing the ceremony. There was an awkward moment when the pastor got overly emotional as he addressed the seven people in the room. Dave, kitty and Bob all got teary while Red looked like he was contemplating how to get his foot into the pastor's ass. Finally, Dave instructed Eric to stand to the right hand side and for the rest of them to go into the hall and pretend that this was the real deal.

Once out there, Jackie handed Donna a fake bouquet and took her place next to him. She shook her hair back and offered him a tentative smile. Slowly, she slid her arm through his and took a deep breath. "Ready?"

The oddest sensation shot through his body at her touch. His heart beat speed up. Lines of fire crackled through his veins, burning him and stealing his breath. A cold, clammy sweat inexplicably coated the palms of his hands.

"Hyde, we have to go." Her tone was aggravated. "Eric's waiting for Donna."

He nodded and went to take a step. But nothing happened. His entire body froze, eyes locked at the end of the trail where Pastor Dave was waiting for them. He could feel the weight of Kitty, Red and Bob's expectant gazes. All he had to do was make it to the end of the aisle with causing him or Jackie to trip and stand next to Eric.

So why couldn't he?

The wedding and reception would be more difficult, have more pressure. He'd have to deal with hypocrites staring at him. Wondering why the scruffy guy was the twitchy kid's best man. Or how he had the nerve to walk in a wedding with the poor shell of a girl that he destroyed. Then there was speeches to make and dancing…

Yup, this was definitely the easy part compared to that hell.

Knowing that, it should have been simple.

Just walk through the doors, down the aisle with Jackie. They were the best man and maid of honor, not the ones getting married. But his brain started taunting him. Reminding him that the last time he had taken a walk like this, it had been the walk that put the final nail in the coffin of his relationship with the petite brunette.

Was that why it suddenly felt like his lungs were going to collapse every time he drew a breath?

"Hyde?" Jackie whispered, her voice betraying her bewilderment. "Hyde?"

Donna was suddenly in front of his unblinking eyes, staring at him in a mixture of anger and understanding. She sighed, casting a panicked glance to where Eric was waiting. "I think maybe we should do this a different way. Why don't you go stand next to Eric instead of having to walk it twice?"

"Donna," Eric's voice sounded from the doorway. "What's going on? I'm getting kind of worried…"

"Take Hyde up there with you." She said in a rush, pushing at his resistant body. "I think it will work out better that way."

He felt Jackie's arm slipping from his grasp as she moved away from him. It was strange. Because the second contact between them was broken, his brain shut up and he could move again.

"Yeah, ok, let's go." Forman clapped him on the back.

He followed Eric in a daze. Taking his place next to Forman, he didn't even bother to watch the girl's coming down the aisle. His mind was running on tangents. Wondering what the hell just happened?

Vaguely, he was aware of an elbow meeting his side to rouse him from his thoughts. He gave himself a mental smack and passed the "ring" to his best friend. But his attention wandered away from the rehearsal again. Replaying that moment over in his mind to try to figure it out. Once again he was nudged, not so gently, and looked down to see Jackie staring at him with interest. "What?"

"It's over, we have to walk back to the hall now." She explained, brow furrowed in confusion. "Unless you'd rather stay here…"

"Uh, no." He took a deep breath and grabbed her hand. To his surprise, the second he did that, he calmed down. It felt right, natural. Familiar. Not creepy and unnatural feeling like it had when she had taken his arm.

Her eyes were wide, locked on their intertwined hands. She had probably been expecting him to go traditional and take her arm. Not possessively claim her hand. Or for his thumb to lightly caress the back of her hand, rubbing the satiny skin in small circles. To give it a light squeeze just to assure himself that this wasn't some distant memory but a current moment in reality.

Taking courage from the fact that his touch could affect her too, he lead them back to the hallway.

"Well that was interesting." Eric drawled when they were finished with the precession, leaning against the banister of the staircase. His eyes flitted to the entwined hands of the exes and one eyebrow arched. But he didn't point it out. "But hopefully, now that we have all that worked out, we won't have a repeat tomorrow."

"Yeah." Donna agreed, studying Hyde carefully. "What happened?"

"I don't know." He admitted, finally releasing the petite brunette's hand from his but not before once again giving it a light squeeze. "But I did warn you both that I might not be the best choice for this best man job."

Before the engaged duo could respond, the front door burst open, announcing Kelso and Fez's arrival.

All eyes swung to them. What a sight it was. Hair all messed up, faces flushed and their clothes were completely disheveled . There was streaks of mud on their shirts and pants. Fez's ugly maroon jacket had a sizable rip on the arm that matched the rip on the leg of Kelso's hideous powder blue pants.

"See fool," Fez huffed in his usual overly dramatic fashion, "I told you the rehearsal wasn't at the church. But did you listen to me? Nooooooo…"

"It wasn't my fault!"

The foreigner gave his buddy a patronizing look. "Oh so the brick just jumped through the church window and hit the piano lady by itself?"

"It was an accident." Kelso held up his hands as everyone looked at him, appalled by his latest brilliant move.

Fez clucked his tongue, "We had to run, through back yards which were all muddy. That ruined the beautiful new outfits I spent hours picking out for us. Then we ran into the hell hound…"

"Speaking of that, when did the Henderson's get a dog?" Kelso sounded like it was a betrayal for him not to be informed about this. "If I knew, I would have gone over before today so it wouldn't attack when I had to cut through their yard.."

Hyde shook his head. This wasn't the first time they'd had a conversation like this. Probably wouldn't be the last time either. Just a sad fact. Like Fez thinking those hideous powder blue and maroon outfits were something that a straight guy would wear.

"Huh," Jackie rolled, "You ever think they got the dog because they don't want anyone in their yard?"

"No." His eyes dashed to Donna, who face reflected her annoyance. "We didn't miss the rehearsal, did we?"

"Yeah." Eric piped up as anger turned his fiancée's face turned a shade similar to her former hair color. "And this is why neither one of you were chosen as best man."

"Damn Eric!" The indignant response was vintage Kelso. "It wasn't our fault that we missed it."

"Oh, not at all." Forman agreed sarcastically. "It was the old lady inside the church's fault for not expecting to get hit with a brick."

"Don't forget the dog's fault for defending it's turf against dill weed's who didn't belong there." Hyde added with a derisive chuckle.

Donna shook her head, "I swear if the cops show up here that I will kill the both of you."

"God Donna," Kelso's eyes rolled, "It's not like the old lady saw us. She was unconscious."

A loud whistle cut through the hall. Everyone turned to see Red standing in the doorway with his patented you're all idiots look on his face. "Everyone shut up and get your asses back in here. Time to eat."

"Ai, at least we didn't miss the most important part. All that running has made my stomach have needs." Fez smiled as he started toward the living room, Kelso following right behind him.

"Why does it seem like the older we get, the dumber they get?" Donna inquired of her groom to be as he led them out of the hall.

"Because that's actually happening." Eric laughed, "By the time we're thirty, they'll probably be completely brain dead."

Hyde started toward the living room but stopped when he realized that Jackie had made no move to come with them. He turned, studying her carefully. She avoided his stare, looking down at the floor. Guess she didn't realize that he was too stubborn to just give up because she looked away. "You coming?"

"I think I'm just going to go back to the Forman's." Her face was drawn and paler than it usually was. "Listening to them gave me a headache."

He closed the distance between them, fingers curling under her chin as he lifted her face toward the light. There was something about the storminess of her eyes that bothered him. Gave him that odd sensation of unease in his gut. Made him suspect that there was more to her desire to flee than just a headache. "You sure?"

"Yeah," She stepped away from his touch and wrapped her arms around herself. "It's been a long, stressful day. I think I'm just going to curl up and go to sleep."

"Jackie…"

She gave him a fake smile, one he had seen grace her face too many times before. "Don't worry. I'll be fine. Go have fun with our friends."

Something was definitely wrong. She was shutting down. He felt it. That old protective instinct was screaming at him, telling him not to let her leave. To not give up and just let things be this time.

That if he did, it would be a horrible mistake.

Leveling her with a probing gaze, he shook his head. "Nah, I'm not really up for hearing more of doofus and dingus's tales or seeing Donna choke them. Going back to the house and relaxing sounds good to me."

"I don't need a babysitter." She huffed with a slight shake of her head, that infamous stubborn streak of hers flaring to life at the notion that she couldn't take care of herself. One perfectly plucked eyebrow rose in indignation, lips in a sneer. "I'm perfectly capable of walking the fifty feet across the yard."

"No worries. I've never been the babysitting type. No one would trust me not to corrupt their kid." He mockingly gave her back a raised eyebrow. "That walk just sounds better than hanging here. So let's go."


End file.
